Treatment (BxB) Completed

Nine

Chapter 9

Yvan

My eyes are close but my mind's still wandering. I still can't sleep because of the fact that someone's laying on the floor beside my bed. I didn't looked at him to see if he's comfortable, I don't have the courage to do it.

It's already past one a.m when we're both occupied by silence. Is he asleep? Iyan ang nasa isip ko. I tried hard to stop myself from calling his name to check if he's already asleep. I don't want him to think of something else if I do that plus I think that it's not normal for a man to ask that to the same gender. Or I guess.

I slightly flinched when I heard Jao's raspy voice calling my name.

"Yvan," he called.

"Hmm?," I hummed answering him.

"Tulog ka na?," tanong nito. Napamulat ako dahil sa tanong nito. I rolled my eyes as if he can see it.

"Yeah, I am," I sarcastically said. I heard him chuckled softly that made me shook my head.

"I have something to tell you. It is a secret," aniya na nagpakuha ng atensyon ko. Lumingon ako sa gilid kahit hindi ko naman ito nakikita.

"Ano 'yon?," tanong ko na may halong kyuryusidad.

"Have you liked someone before?," natigalan ako sa tanong niya. Why ask all of a sudden?

Nevertheless, I looked at the ceiling and thought of an answer. Ngayong iniisip ko na ito ngayon ay napagtanto kong hindi pa ako nagkakagusto ni isang beses. Hindi ako nakikipaghalubilo sa mga tao at nilihim ko ang kondisyon ko kahit sa aking mga kamag-anak. For me, attaching myself to anyone else is a burden. Oo at sa lalaki lang ako may takot ngunit sa tingin ko ay kapag napalapit ako sa kababaihan ay mahuhusgahan ako. If ever that I'll have a girlfriend, she'll be burdened by my condition so I chose not to have one. Bilang lang sa aking kamay ang itinuring kong malapit sa akin.

"I haven't," sagot ko sa kanya.

"Not even one? A girl? A boy?," sunod-sunod niyang tanong.

"Hindi ako nagkagusto sa babae o sa lalaki."

"But are you straight? What's your sexual preference?," I stilled because of his question. Isn't it personal? "I'm sorry, I'm just curious," dagdag nito. Instead of being offended by his question it made me think. Kung iisipin ay hindi ko alam dahil hindi naman ako naa-attract sa kahit anong kasarian dahil hindi naman ako nakikipaghalubilo sa mga tao.

"I don't know. I'm not attracted to anyone not even once—

Napahinto ako sa pagsasalita dahil biglaang pumasok sa isipan ko ang mukha ni Jao. Nakaramdam ako ng pamumula sa pisngi ngunit agad din akong umiling para mawaksi sa isipan ang imahe ni Jao. Why the fuck would I thought of him?

"Why'd you asked?," pagtatanong ko sa kanya. Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga nito bago sumagot.

"I like someone for a long time now. She's my type and a friend," kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi nito at biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang babaeng ikinwento niya kanina.

"Si Hydra?," direkta kong tanong.

"Y-Yeah," he answered hesitantly. "She's my closest friend but..."

"But what?," I tried my best not stutter after he admitted that he like that Hydra lady.

"She likes someone else. May gusto siyang iba," my mouth formed an 'o' after hearing his answer.

"Paano mo nalaman?," tanong ko.

"She unconsciously told me."

"What a bummer," I commented. Narinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa ni Jao kaya't kumunot ang noo ko, nagtataka kung bakit ito tumawa. "Why?"