That Summer Feeling [H.S.]

1. We're Never Done With Killing Time

MAY

"Our lives are going to change."

I peel my eyes away from the ceiling to turn towards my best friend, Gigi. I couldn't tell if she sounded excited or scared. Maybe a little bit of both. She's always been bold and one to speak her mind. I've rarely seen her break down from a fight or be afraid of anything.

I give her a small smile as I meet with her blue-green eyes. "For the better," I assure her.

"I can't believe school's over." She sighs. "It's really over."

I look over to my navy blue graduation gown hanging on my bedroom door, faintly smiling at the memories from today. I'm been thinking about the day I graduate college for years, probably since I was in elementary school. I would often think about how I would feel after finally walking that stage.

Would I be sad and cry? Would I feel relieved because I would just barely pass all my classes? Would I feel a strong sense of accomplishment and pride?

I've been waiting for this day for what feels like forever, but now that it happened, I feel bittersweet. I feel like I'm closing a chapter of my life and starting a new one. I was nervous about what happens next. School is all I've ever know for the past 17 years. I've built a whole routine and schedule of waking up, going to class, studying, and doing in all over again the next day.

So what am I supposed to do now?

"We should've gone to Adam's party." I feel Gigi shift on the bed. "I need about twenty drinks."

"Oh, I see how it is." I act offended. "This isn't good enough for you?"

"Don't get me wrong." She leans on her elbow as her body is facing me, looking down as I lay flat on my back. "This sleepover you planned is really cute but we just fucking graduated college! This isn't the way to celebrate the fact that we're actually done with school."

I playfully roll my eyes and turn my head back to the ceiling. I bring the soft blanket closer to my chest.
"It's not too late," I softly say. "You can go if you want."

I can see her looking over at me through my peripheral vision. I know she was thinking about it. She's never been one to turn down parties, especially now when the world's at our fingertips. I didn't mind if she left to go to be with our friends. I wasn't going to join her, though, because I didn't feel like going to a party right now. I've gone to so many throughout my college experience that I'm good for a lifetime.

Besides, it's been a long, weird day filled with a lot of different, complicated emotions that I just want to stay home in my bed. I don't think I've fully absorbed the fact that I'm entering a new stage in my life after (literally) walking on an old one.

"No," she finally says, laying back down with a small smile. "I'll stay."

I narrow my eyes at her, not believing she'd rather stay here. "C'mon, I know you're dying to go."

"The mood's gone." She shrugs. "I'd rather be here with you than be hit on by creepy dudes and have a hangover in the morning."

We born turn on our sides and face each other while grinning. Gigi has been by my side since sophomore year of high school. It feels like we've been through everything together and I don't know where we would be without each other. I feel like she's the only other person who knows so much about me and vice versa. A loud yawn escapes my mouth, suddenly overcome with tiredness from today's events. She giggles and snuggles into the pillow.

"Tired?"

I nod sleepily and blink slowly. It slightly stung every time I opened and closed my eyelids. My muscles slowly relaxed into the bed until I stay still. It didn't hit me how sleepy I was until now.