That Summer Feeling [H.S.]

61. Wishful Thinking

I have a little less than two weeks to pack for Europe. My interview at the Butterfly Moon Gallery was right around the corner and I didn't feel at all prepared.

It was still surreal to me that I was even going and that my mom was somewhat okay with me leaving. I had told her about it all in the last few weeks of Laguna because I let it accidentally slip while on the phone with her and she was not happy.

My original plan was to take her and Cam out to dinner and warm them up a bit before telling both of them. After all, they, especially my mom, wouldn't make a scene in public.

After I explained everything, my mom was understandably angry at first that I had hidden the biggest piece of information from her. It took almost a whole hour for her to calm down. Then she expressed her concern about what I was getting into. Which I understand as well. I don't think I truly realized the weight of my decision to pack up all my shit and move across the world if I get the job until our conversation.

I didn't even have a real backup plan if I don't get it, which made me angry and concerned for myself. I was just putting most of my energy and focus on making sure I do get it.

After the longest talk we've ever had together, we reached a mutual decision.

I would go and interview for the position. I saved up and put away enough money from all my small former jobs for my plane ticket and a hotel room for at least two nights. My mom wanted to come with me for support and make sure I wasn't alone but since the wedding was so close to my interview, I didn't want her to miss out on her honeymoon.

It took some convincing from Liam, Gigi, and I but she eventually agreed— especially since Gigi reached out to her cousin that lives in London and introduced us over the phone. Now I had somebody there with me to help me. That eased things more, even though I think it'll be awkward now after everything that went down with Gigi and me.

If I did get the internship, it would be my responsibility to get a part-time job there that pays well so I can maintain a living in a foreign place. My mom offered to help me pay for a few things but I didn't want her to. I didn't want to burden her on something that I had hide from her because I was too scared that she wouldn't let me go.

We both had to realize that I was an adult now. I needed to be independent. I needed to go out and explore the world and my place in it. I was fresh out of college but I still had no idea what I was doing and I'm sure that I would be lost and make mistakes again and again. But I needed to learn it all on my own and find myself.

She was still adamant about it all. She had ended our talk by telling me that she couldn't actually force me to not go. For the last few days since I've been back, she let out a few snide remarks here and there about it all and even a few attempts to convince me not to go. It had made things tense between us at home and with the wedding being so close, stress levels were at an all-time high here.

She'd mentioned some of the things that Harry brought up about London the other night at dinner that weren't even bad but she said them in a way that made them sound like they were. For example, Harry said that it rains a lot there and my mom took it as if I don't get enough sun, I might die.

I can't exactly talk back to her. I know she said that she wouldn't force me not to go but I don't want her to change her mind and chain me to my bed if I say even one sarcastic reply to her.