That Summer Feeling [H.S.]

29. Put My Mind At Ease

I didn't want to wake up this morning. I'd much rather lay here, being embraced by the arms of the man who has turned my world upside down. This feels like a dream. A beautiful dream. Filled with pastel pink skies, sweet sugar on my lips, and fuzzy teddy bear hugs. But it's so much better than a dream because it's real.

Harry feels so soft yet strong against my touch. I feel so comfortable like this was meant to be happening. I cuddle in closer into his chest. His arm must be numb laying underneath me. I feel bad about it but he seems too deep in sleep to notice it. I let my hand rest against his side, my fingers itching to wander around his rib cage. My head steadily moves up and down with the rhythm of his breath. My eyes slowly open, not able to resist looking at him. I let out a quiet sigh, getting lost in his beautiful features. How did I get lucky enough to be laying right next to him?

A phone suddenly starts loudly piercing through the room. It was mine. I let out a soft groan, cringing at the sound, hoping it doesn't disturb Harry. I gently but quickly move and turn to the nightstand where my phone was laying. I want to turn it off the fuck off but I see it's my mother.

Harry stirs on the bed, mumbling something incoherent. I silently curse and practically fling off the bed, grabbing the device and answering. I hear my mom's confused 'hello's' through the phone as I hurry towards the balcony.

"Hello?" I quietly speak into the phone when I'm at a safe distance, leaving the balcony door closed so I don't have to be so quiet.

"Lacey? You awake?"

I hadn't realized how much I missed my mom's voice until now. It feels like it's been a while since I've talked with her. Not since our conversation about my future. We've only texted back a forth a few times since.

"I am now."

"Good. How's it going over there?"

I am instantly pleased with the view I have. My elbows rest against the railing as I look over and am able to see the blue, open ocean less than a mile away. The sun is shining and the seagulls are flying around. The air is fresh and crisp. This is paradise. I still feel like I'm dreaming.

"It's amazing," I honestly say.

I hear my mom chuckle. "Really?"

I realize she still doesn't know I'm not in Sacramento in our home, doing my same old boring routine.

"Well, Netflix and junk food all day does sound pretty amazing," she adds, "I can't say I'm not jealous."

I stay silent. I can feel a giant hole in my heart, like the one I was talking about last night. My mom was over at my aunt's house, taking care of their kids and working from there while I'm here with my best friends and new foreign friends, alone in this beach house where we live every day like it's our last. And she didn't know a thing.

"Lacey?" My mom breaks me out of my thoughts with a laugh. "Did you fall asleep?"

My throat aches. My impulsive tendencies are creeping up. I try to swallow the guilt away but I don't think I can do this anymore.

"Laceyyyy?"

"Mom?"

"There she is!"

"Mom," I repeat, clearing my throat.

"What?"

"I'm, uh, not home," I simply say, my stomach turning into knots. I stand up straight, not caring that the air is raising goosebumps on my skin and probably getting me sicker.

"Okay," her voice was still chirpy, "Well, where are you? At Gigi's?"

I chew on my lip, inhaling sharply. The dispute I had with Gigi about lying to my mom rings in my head. Gigi was right. About everything. I knew that during the argument. I knew that now. My eyes stare at the ocean, hoping and praying she doesn't get mad. This might be the worst mistake I've ever made. I might have just sealed the coffin on my summer. But I couldn't keep lying to her.