That Summer Feeling [H.S.]

0. Close to You

AUGUST

I exhale slowly before I reach into the pocket of my trousers to grab my phone. This is my tenth time doing so in the past hour.

I down the remaining honey-colored whiskey from my glass and set it aside before unlocking the device. It was like I suddenly needed liquid courage just to look at a screen.

No new messages, no missed calls. Nothing.

I sigh, moving a strand of hair away that fell onto my damp forehead. I was beginning to sweat profusely. It was mostly because of the warm temperature of Spain this time of year but it was also due to the fact that I was so anxious.

Every part of my body reacted to everything that it was getting to an uncomfortable point. It's been a long time since I've felt like this. So much that I had forgotten the unwelcome feeling: being tense, vulnerable, and nervous all at the same damn time.

It was my fault. I put myself in this position. I've hurt the person I never wanted to hurt. I've accepted that now. I regret so much. I wish I could turn back time to stop myself from making the mistake that could very well cost me the best thing that I've ever had.

Though I'm not even sure I had it in the first place.

A pat on my back startles me, stopping my fingers from checking my phone again.

"Hey man." It was Jerry. He pulls the chair next to me and sits down. "I don't think I've seen you move from this spot in the past two hours."

I force a shrug, not saying anything back.

I hear him sigh. He glances around the room and continues to try making conversation with me. "It's dying down now. Everyone is starting to leave."

My eyes slowly gaze around. I hadn't realized the atmosphere had grown quieter. There was still a few couples on the dance floor but I could see all the waiters cleaning and packing up.

"C'mon, man," Jerry says as he stands up. "We should head back inside. Our flight leaves in 9 hours."

"She's coming." My voice sounds raspy from the combination of the liquor and not talking to anyone for a few hours.

"Harry—"

"She's coming," I say louder. It sounded like I was trying to convince myself of that more than him.

My eyes fall back on my phone as I hear Jerry sigh again. I bite the inside of my swollen cheek. He's frustrated as well now. Or disappointed. Probably both.

Unfortunately, he isn't the only person that I've disappointed today.

"She's coming," I repeat, my voice quieter and no confidence laced in it anymore.

My hand reaches out and plays with the sticky rim of my empty glass. I could feel a frown forming on my face. My throat begins to ache as the memories prior to tonight are still fresh on my mind, replaying like a never-ending nightmare.

"Because if she doesn't.." I pause, swallowing the thick feeling in my mouth. "That means it's over."

I could barely feel Jerry's hand pat my back again. My body numb and shutting down on itself.

"I don't want it to be over," I manage to croak out.