The Adventures Of John B : The Sacred Stone

Part 8 - Wild World

SIDENOTE: The song may not match with the chapter, it's just there to show how I got the name for it.

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Eddie.

Eddie is reliable.

Eddie is kind.

Eddie is honest.

Eddie has 3 jobs.

Eddie loves his siblings.

Eddie is attractive.

Eddie is strong.

Eddie is giving.

Eddie is expected to be all these things and more.

But what is Eddie not expected to be?

Hurt.

Angry.

Sad.

Cold.

Tormented.

In simple terms, Eddie is not expected to be-

Human.

He is expected to demonstrate the kindness of a human and abolish the rude behaviors that naturally come with it.

He is expected to give up his dreams for his family, and not regret his decisions.

He is expected to lose the people he loves and not feel his world caving in on him every day.

To live a life free of human emotion while displaying the prized traits of the human race.

What is expected is simply not possible.

Because Eddie is Eddie.

Not a person on T.V. or a model citizen.

Eddie is Eddie.

A man with a cold, unloving exterior.  

The icy stare of those lost green eyes.

So revealing, those eyes are.

A swirling storm of misconstrued feeling, revealing that the man who houses those eyes is not a man, but a boy.

A confused boy who is still learning.

The emotional turmoil of loss and internal solitude.

Burnt out of feeling. Numb to the touch.

But still boiling with unbearable sentiment.

Forced to grow up in the hopes that he could gift a childhood to those after him.

Realizing that the chance to be cared for is a virtue, a present.  Not something that is handed freely.

And underneath those eyes?  

Underneath the wall that has been so carefully built?

Pure rage that is seething to be released.

A growing flame of pain transformed into a bonfire of vexation that has yet to be extinguished.

For extinguishing would be forgetting.

And forgetting would be wrong.

In those faraway dreams of his, the family that he had once taken for granted lingers, taunting him with what will never again be.

His mind is torn between selflessness and selfishness.

He is constantly forcing it together, because if he never settles, it will split right in two.

And perfect Eddie can't have that.

The town's Eddie can't have that.

Because, after all, a broken mind will produce a fragmented view of the world.

But can Eddie have that?

Normal Eddie?

The Eddie that holds it all in until the emotions burst through the wide grasslands of his soul, like a stream?  Until the expanding bubble of emotion pops and its essence races towards the ground?

The Eddie that can finally stop feigning a calm composure?

The Eddie that cries into his pillow at night to relieve the chaotic throbbing of hurt that harrows him all night and day?

Eddie is not a simple human being.

I'm not, and you sure as hell aren't either.

No one is perfect, and as much as this statement is reiterated, it will always be true.

There is no life form that is beyond perfection, and Eddie is no exception to this rule.

But, he achieves something that many others can't.

The ability to be kind without expecting anything in return.

The ability to be good.

And the ability to overcome his many flaws.

His many, numerous flaws.

Because, in truth-

as much as he doesn't want to admit it,

He is still human.