Part 29 - Breath Of Loss

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I rested  my head on my hands, the cool counter top touching my elbows.  Eddie instructed Jolene to whisk as the warm fragrance of chocolate housed the air, though it seemed a hopeless prospect when considering her failure to comply.  John leaned against the table, crossing his bulky arms in a condescending manner as he observed the stiff atmosphere.  His stark glare caught mine from time to time as I gave him a joking wink, typically earning a dip of the hat in response.  Jolene blurted words of extreme incontinence, continually dipping her finger in the mixing bowl as Eddie scolded her on every shortcoming.  Tommie was oddly silent with his bandaged head, awkward from standing directly next to his brother.

He stood out in the midst of so much noise, so much laughing.  A lone figure, sounds muffled by his own stubborn walls of anger.  Every precaution that could be taken to prevent the spread of such contagious joy had already been prepared in his mind, his psyche wary of the sudden, unwarranted happiness. 

There was no way to prove it would last. 

Tommie repeatedly looks to John, desperate for the validation of a man who barely feels validated himself.  Meanwhile, Eddie won't even look at him- but whether this ignorance sprouts from embarrassment or anger, I'm not sure.

If I'm being honest, I feel a little out on most things.

The knowing glares between Jolene and Eddie, quick and constant- the way his eyes soften and his heart flutters at the sound of her laugh.

It's.. a weird, warm feeling.  Like I'm so close to knowing something I shouldn't- or maybe I'm resisting the idea that's so clear in mind. 

Tommie's becoming overly dependent on John, every look gaining trust at a pace that will leave him crashing.  He's expecting the most in someone who expects the least of the world.

For John, he must be a walking mirror.  Is that why he gives such patronizing, ashamed stares?

And yet, with such a downcast aura- laughter cut through, reasoning that happiness could defeat evil, that tearful, guiltless guffawing was allowed in the face of hardship.

It was almost like looking at a frame frozen in time, such mirth encapsulated in a simple moment.  The ocean's glares sent wavy rays of light erratically jumping over the four figures, constantly moving and morphing until I wasn't sure just where I was.  In the sea, or in the sun, or in the air?

After John had pushed me into the submarine, I had sat and repeated countless cycles of numbers and ideas.  Waiting for something I thought would never come.

But it did, and we're here now.  That's all that matters.

"Hiccups."

Drunk on chortling, I lousily turned my head to look at the man.  It was almost an instinct- if he had something important to say, he would say it. 

The room was quiet.

"You got something.."

He motioned to his mouth, eyes bouncing back to the other spectators.

Jolene lit up like a light bulb, pulsating with something she could not contain- a peculiar sight with such a sad mind.

"There!"

The woman dipped her finger in the bowl, lurching forward to smear the substance across my face.  I gasped before I could stop myself, covering my countenance with a bruised hand.

But nothing could stop the rumbling landslide of giggles that erupted in the room as I dove forward. 

Jolene cackled, trapping me in a headlock.  The vivacity of our exchange vibrated throughout the room as eyes began to glow with childish excitement, waiting to unwrap such a wonderful gift of surprise and action. 

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