Black Honey

thirty

A/N: This is the final chapter! Thank you to everyone who showed this story some love. I had a great and emotional time writing this and I'm so glad that you all enjoyed it! This story will always have a piece of my heart. All the love x 

**

I get home and place my keys on the counter, expecting to see Alistair, but he wasn't home. There was a small knot in my chest that unwound at that. It would give me time to figure out how I was even going to bring this up, let alone talk about it. I couldn't just tell my husband that I was in love with my high school boyfriend still, but if Alistair knew me well enough, he already knew that. He had been able to read me since the moment we met, always giving me the support that I needed in the moment. He was always so understanding, and caring, and I was so upset with myself that I couldn't just be in love with him. He was exactly what I needed, exactly what I wanted, except he wasn't Sam.

The problem about a rebound guy is that if you marry said rebound guy, you're constantly reminded of the guy you were rebounding from. No matter what I did with Alistair, I couldn't help but wish it had been with Sam. I wanted all the last few years to be with Sam. I fix myself a cup of tea in the interim. I hear keys jingle in the lock and a lump forms in my throat. 

"Hey honey." Alistair says, entering the kitchen, placing a kiss on my cheek. 

"Hi love." I say, stirring my tea. 

"I got you something." He smirked. 

"Me? Why?" 

"You've been busy lately, taking care of your friend, and I can tell you're stressed. I wanted you to have a relaxing night so..I got you flowers, a face mask, some wine, and chinese takeaway. I figured you have a show you're watching so I didn't rent a movie." 

"Alistair, I--" 

"Shh, just relax. I'll get out of your hair tonight. I made plans with the coworkers at the bowling alley." 

"Bowling?" I laughed. 

"What you don't think I can bowl?" He laughed in tandem

"It just doesn't seem like you." 

"Yeah, I know, but I wanted to give you your time and it was something all of them wanted to do so, bowling it is." 

"You're too sweet to me, I don't deserve you." 

"I thank my lucky stars for you everyday, it's me who doesn't deserve you." He said, pulling me into a hug. 

My heart couldn't take it. I was such a shitty person. I had become the way Sam had been. Sneaking around, omitting the truth.  I couldn't bring myself to let the words escape from my mouth though. I knew the second I opened my mouth I would vomit. 

**

Once Alistair left, I was alone with my thoughts and my lo mein. I ran a bath, throwing in some bubble soap because why the hell not? I sat in the tub, candles lit, eating my lo mein, drinking wine and sobbing my eyes out. I wasn't sure what to do with all of this time on my hands. I wasn't sure when Alistair would be back, but I knew I had to tell him sooner rather than later. 

I got out of the bath and decided that maybe a drive would help me to clear my head. My wet hair drooped to my shoulders, feeling cold against the skin of my neck. My eyes were so puffy from crying that it was hard to see. I got dressed, grabbed my glasses and hopped into the car. I wasn't sure where I was headed until I got there. My subconscious had been pointing me in the direction all along. It was the lake where Sam had told me he was getting engaged. The place where everything I had ever hoped for with Sam came to an end, where my heart was broken--truly broken. I parked my car and grabbed my earbuds from the passenger door. I walked toward the body of water, glistening sapphire in the moonlight. I wasn't alone though. My body tensed up as I approached the body of water, 2 figures standing side by side. I was curious, my heart pounding like a drum. My heart beat even faster when I saw who it was. Sam with Alistair.