Falling (SEQUEL TO 'THE SECRETS WITHIN')

Chapter 9

Self harm warning just sayin sorry

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I eventually picked myself up and got into the car. I sat in the drivers seat and sped off down the road, stopping around the corner. It was then that I let go. Hot tears streamed down my face and I let all my sobs out, screams included.

What have I done.

What have I done.

What have I done.

I looked out the windows and luckily noone was around. I went into the glovebox and grabbed a box of tissues, blowing my nose and continuing to cry. I took my phone out of its case to reveal a blade I kept in case of emergencies and ran the blade across my wrist, over and over. Each pierce stung yet relieved my pain. Unfortunatly, I wasn't paying much attention to the cuts and hadn't realised I had cut too deep until I saw the bleeding wasn't stopping. I began panicking. This has never happened before, what should I do?!

I wrapped it in several tissues and began speeding down the road to go home. I began hyperventilating and almost crashed several times. I was out of control. Once I finally got home I parked the car really badly and ran out, blood had soaked the tissues and was dripping everywhere. I burst through the front door and Eren was on the couch. He looked at me and his eyes darted straight at my wrist, widening in terror.

"Armin!!" He rushed up to me.

"P-Please I c-cant stop the bleeding!!" I choked.

Eren pulled me to the kitchen sink and ran water over my cuts.

"Why the fuck do you still do this!?" He growled. Tears started to form in my eyes, he didn't even care.

After running it under water for a while, he folded a tea towel so it was thick and pressed it against my cuts firmly. The bleeding eventually stopped and Eren sighed in relief.

"I'm glad it stopped." He wiped his forehead. "Armin I just.... I thought we agreed that you wouldn't do this anymore. Why are you still going?" He pouted.

Tears instantly began pouring down my face and sobs racked my body. Eren gave me a hug and pulled me close.

"Shhhh..." He pet my hair. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't talk, my throat felt as if it had closed up.

"Armin calm down." Eren said softly.

"I c-cant!! I've done something really bad Eren. I regret it so badly I just.. I don't know what came over me I just... IVE SCREWED UP EVERYTHING!!" I yelled into his chest.

"Armin, nothing you do could be so bad that you screw up everything." Eren reassured me. I looked into his emerald eyes, only making more tears fall. How could I cheat on such a god? First Krista and now Eren.

I'm disgusting.

"I cheated..." I mumbled.

"What?"

"I-I didn't mean to! It was just, Marco was so sad and was looking for help, I couldn't just reject him and leave him even more hurt! A-And that night at Jean's party apparently I slept with Marco there too and... And... I'm just so sorry and I'm so angry with myself for doing it, I totally understand if you don't forgive me and want to break up or something but I just wanna say I'm so so sorry and I love you so much. Sorry I wasn't the husband you were hoping for." I cried.

"Armin I don't hate you." He laughed.

"What?" I looked at him.

"I'm not mad at all. Cmon get over it, it was a little mistake we all make them." He grinned and wrapped his arm around my neck. He was acting weird.

"Eren are you okay?" I asked

"Peachy." He laughed.

"Are you... drunk?" I asked, smelling something suspicious.

"Drunk? Pft nope.." He shook his head.

"Eren!" I pushed him away. "You are drunk!!" That explains the smell of alcohol.

"Hey, come back." He pouted.

"Why are you drunk!?" I asked.

"I'm not." He whined.

"You are!! Why!?"

He shrugged. I sighed.

"You better go to bed or something before I snap your neck." I said jokingly.

"Armin cmon we all know you couldn't and wouldn't do that." Eren smirked.

"Shutup." I grunted. "Cmon get upstairs."

He whined but I was persistent. I eventually got him upstairs and he sat down on the end of the bed.

"Why the heck are you drunk?" I sighed.

"I felt bad." He flopped backwards onto the bed.

"Bad about what?" I asked.

"About the other day at the partyy." He was lengthing out his words. "I felt realllyyy guilty so I thought it would help, but now I know you've done it too so I don't feel so bad anymore." He sat up and grinned.

I stared at him with guilt because I knew as soon as he was sober he was going to hate me. I sighed and went up to him.

"Cmon get some rest." I tried to sit him down but he just pulled my shirt towards him and kissed me. Apparently drunk people are terrible kissers but I honestly was seeing no difference. He was still the perfect, pasionate kisser I had married. I was worried that because I kissed Marco, I wouldnt feel those usual sparks with Eren, but that wasnt the case at all.

There were fucking fireworks.

"I really love you." I said in between kisses.

"I know." Eren smiled through it.

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