restricted ~ JJ Maybank

1.06

"Wait, so you're telling me that one of those square groupers is your uncle." JJ said, shocking me a bit by his choice of words.

"Sqaure gro- what are you not telling me." I answer, hoping someone will finally what the hell I got myself into.

"Nothing you should worry about. Go back to figure 8." Kie said. Her attitude making the existing tension even more intense. I chose to ignore her and I don't let my eyes leave JJ's. waiting for him to tell me what the hell is going on.

"Didn't you see who were at Lana's house."

"Hold up! Lana's house! You brought her!" Kie yelled.

"Ow shut up Kiara." I said, finally looking at her. her eyes didn't change one bit. I knew that if I didn't leave any time soon, she would. "And no I didn't look at the guys who were at Lana's"

"The guys that were just here, your uncle and his friend. Are the guys who were at Lana's, and they were also the guys who shot at us." JJ said with a calming voice, like that made the situation any better. Uncle Cruz and Ratter basically raised me alongside my dad, since my mom was never there for me nor for Topper. When he died, I was always with them, they have always cared for my brother and I. And having to accept the fact that they were the guys who shot at my friends and attacked a women, was almost imposible to believe.

My chest felt hollow, and my throat started to hurt, as I was trying to hold back the tears that were filling my eyes, slightly blurring my vision. I didn't know what to do at that moment, should I walk away, running from my problems and confrotation, or should I stay, and listen to Kie while she is making mean comments as if I'm not there. It seemed like a clear choice to me. I slowly started to back up, shaking my head, hand shaking, breathes getting louder and deeper. I saw JJ lips move, Kie's eyes were rolling. John B looked down and pope had his head in his hands. But any sound any of them made, were just blurry mumbles to me, JJ's words were echoing through my head, masking any new sounds or words. When I took a few steps back, I turned around and started to walk away faster.

The tears were now streaming down my face, I was glad I was able to hold them in until the 4 friends couldn't see my face anymore, I don't want their pity nor do I want them to feel sorry for me. I just wanted to erase the last hour from my memory and go back to this morning, when everything was like always. Eating breakfast under the pink blossom tree in the backyard. listening to my mom complain about everything me and Topper do. Helping out aunt Lucy with the clean up. Casually being friends with John B as the other disapproved of me. That is the only thing that hasn't changed.

When I reached the streets, I stopped for a little bit, put quickly walked further when I heard JJ's voice behind me, followed by his footsteps on the ground. Little sticks twitching under his boots.

I ignored him until he reached me, and I wasn't able to ignore anymore since he grabbed my arm, forcing me to turn around. His grib wasn't tight, but he wasn't planning on letting go. In fact, when I turned around, facing him, revealing my tear stained face and puffy red eyes to him, he slowly lowered his hand down to my wrist, where he hesitated for a moment, before lowering his hand evern further as he gently held my palm. He stood there silently for a moment, before speaking up.

"Look, I'm so-" JJ started but as soon as he wanted to say he was sorry for me, I cut him of, since I didn't want his sympathy.

"Stop, don't- don't feel sorry for me, besides this wasn't your fault. I just don't understand why." By that, he was silent. clearly not knowing what to say, and how could he, he doesn't know Cruz and Ratter like I do. He just knows them as the 'square grouper' as he calls them, as if I know them as two loving guys who would take me out for icecream every week, and who would hold my hand when I got scared. calmed me down when I was upset. help me through break ups. drive me to the hospital when I fell and broke something. The ones who would drive me to pre, elementary and middle school every day. The guys who were more like my parents than my own.