You and Everything After

Chapter 33: Deep Blue

Dedication: ann4chirst djgraves01 equinox9
Stella POV:

Early the following morning, I got dressed in casual jeans and a black leather jacket, leaving my mother sleeping then went out to search for a suitable house to rent. A whole hour passed by while I went from one apartment to the other arguing over the prices until I settled on a cozy two-bedroom apartment with a large living room. I paid the first month's rent in advance feeling like a whole weight has been lifted on my shoulders. I got so lucky that it has several markets close to it and it wasn't that far away from school so I could ride a bicycle there.

I walked to the school with a relaxed smile then it slowly fainted when I found students pointing my way and whispering, 'she changed', 'she looks so beautiful. Is it her?' I'm already late for my first class so I don't have time to stop and ask them what they're talking about.

Walking down the rest of the hallway, I froze in my tracks when I stopped at my locker and find a huge picture of me when I was fat. 'Fat Stella?' was written in bold along with a screenshot from my blog account that read, 'Sometimes you feel like wearing a large oversize sweater to divert people's stares from your curves. But sometimes too, you'll also feel like wearing your prettiest dress and embracing those curves. Sometimes the courage is inside you yet you're afraid. Don't be.' I felt proud of how far I've come while reading what I wrote.

"That's me!" I beamed, turning back to open my locker when suddenly several chocolate bars fell out. In a second, I was taken back to when Noah used to do that to remind me that the only thing I could do was eat and get fat. I used to cry and run away to hide but now instead I bent down and place them all in my bag. I opened our class door and the teacher wasn't there yet.
It was our usual ten minutes break between classes. I had ten minutes to say everything I wanted to. Noah was standing next to Ashley as they laugh. Logan was alone at his table staring out the window. Aiden crossing hands while looking at his desk. Everyone was busy doing something but looked up as soon as they saw me.

"Hello, I'm Emily woods." I began, standing in the middle of the class and I laughed a little at their confused stares. "It's what I said when I came back here a month ago. I introduced myself as Emily back then."

I moved back behind the teacher's table, opened my bag and took my picture out then place it on the board behind me. Ten minutes, I reminded myself. "You guys already know who I am though I wanted to be the one to say it myself. That picture you're staring at the same girl that used to sit in the backseat right there last year. She used to be overweight, used to hate the ugly stares and stupid puns, used to cry every time someone whispered a mean comment her way, hell, and back."

I then opened my bag and emptied all the chocolate on the table. "You guys clearly remember how every day I used to open my locker and find something humiliating each day. I once reached a point where I was afraid of what could come out. I mean it's chocolate, who doesn't like chocolate? I should've been happy." They cracked a short laugh and I shrug sadly to myself.

"But the old me took that as an insult. I understood the message behind it loud and clear. That I should eat more, cry more, hide more, shout more and trust me I've been through all of that." I turned to Noah that didn't meet my gaze. Ashley clicks her teeth together.

"Everyone here must've gone through a situation in their lives with they felt to do all of the above and I understand the struggle. I went through it. Having people only care about your outside appearance is infuriating. I'm Stella Woods standing right in front of you, the same girl in the picture. I struggled to find the will to become what I am today. I fell to my knees then stood back up. It all shaped me." I whispered shouted and noticed the way some of them were crying.