fix you (13rw)

Chapter 27

Alex

"Where are we going?" It was the question I had been asking myself for the past ten minutes. Peter was the one driving the car, he asked me to come with him earlier. He didnt tell me where were going, he just told me to wear something casual and basically dragged me from my room to the car.

"Promise me you wont jump out of the car when I tell you." Peter said, making sure to double check the door if it was locked.

"I promise." I assured him.

"Promise what?" Peter gave me a toothy smile.

"I promise that I wont jump out of the car when you tell me where we are going," I muttered. "There, can you tell me now?"

"We're meeting up with Zach." Wait. What?

"Stop the car." I protested.

"Alex-" Peter was calming me down.

"Open the door," I yelled, trying to open the door but it was locked and Peter was the only one who could open it. "Peter, I swear to God. Im going to jump out of this car."

"Relax." Peter placed an arm on my shoulder.

"Fuck you," I glared at him. "I dont want to relax."

"Alex, calm down." Peter raised his voice.

"Stop telling me what to do," I took off my seatbelt. "Open the door."

"Alex," Peter sighed but he didnt budge. He continued driving as if he wasnt hearing me. "You need to talk to Zach."

"I dont want to." Was I ready to talk to Zach?

"Dude, he's your boyfriend," Peter looked at me. "You have to talk to him eventually."

Peter was right. It had been two days since the incident. On the first day, when I got home, I turned off my phone. The next day, Saturday, I received alot of messages from Zach. I never opened them. I never answered his missed calls. I was running away from my problem, running away from Zach. Was it valid? Was my reason valid? I believed it was.

"He's an asshole." I mumbled but my brother heard me.

"He is," Peter stopped the car. "And I'm not going to romanticize him hurting you by telling you boys punching each other is normal. But I know you Alex, the longer you walk away from this problem, the longer you'll feel like shit."

"You dont know that." But Peter was right again.

"Alex, dad doesnt want you to see Zach. I lied to him and told him I'll just treat you out on a dinner," Peter was looking straight in my eyes, I could hear the sincerity in his voice. "You know, I never lie to dad."

"Yeah." I looked at my hands. Was I ready to face Zach?

"Its because I know this is the right thing to do." Peter finally opened the door. At first I thought he was now letting me go, letting me walk back home, walk away from my problem again.

When I went out of the car, I saw him sitting in the middle of the town's park. He was waiting for me. There were a bunch of people on the park but Zach Dempsey stood out. He was wearing an all black outfit, as if he was attending a funeral. Maybe it was our relationships funeral.

Peter told me to give him a call if I needed a ride back home. Seeing Zach brought back memories with him that I was trying to push on the back of my brain.

He didnt see me approaching, he was staring at the ground. His eyes were puffy, he looked tired, as if his life was sucked out of his body. It was familiar, it was the exact thing I saw when I looked in the mirror earlier.

I sat beside him. He flinched and then looked at me, he was surprised. I didn't look at him, I was watching the kids running around the fountain in front of us.

"Alex, I-" I missed his voice. "Thank you for coming."

I took a deep breath. I didnt know what to say so I kept staring at the kids. They looked happy, without any stress and problem in life. The things I would do to be a kid again.

"Alex," I missed hearing him say my name. "Im sorry. I- I didn't mean to hurt you. I dont know what to say other than I'm sorry."

"Me too," I murmured. "I dont know what to say to you."

"I love you, Alex." Zach's voice was trembling. "I really do. I'm planning to tell my mom about us, I'm just waiting for the right time."

"Zach," I finally looked at him, he looked terrible up close. His eyes were  red and watery. "You don't have to, I will never force you to come out of the closet."

"I want to," Zach looked at me, he looked like he was in pain. Internal pain. "I want to do it. For you, I owe it to you."

"Zach," I could feel myself starting to soften for him. "You dont come out for other people. You come out for yourself, at your own pace, your own time."

"I want to," Zach sniffed. "I want to be with you, I want to properly hold your hands, I want to kiss you in front of our friends. I want you, Alex."

"I want that too." I really do, Zach. You have no idea how much I want that.

"I already told Coach and the Principal about Luke," Zach was looking at my lips, the cut was now dry, but it was still visible. "Im sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to punch you. I- I just got scared."

"It's fine now," I touched my lips and winced as the skin on my finger touched the wound. "This will heal."

I was angry and pissed at Zach but looking back now and putting myself on his shoes, I was starting to understand his position. Luke Holliday was the only person at fault, were just nothing but a victim, a victim of Luke's domino.

"But Zach," I tried smiling at him but my face couldnt. "I think we should take a break for now."

"What?" Panic was evident in Zach's eyes.

"Figure out yourself first," It was hard for me to say this. "Take your time, do everything at your own pace and when you're done. I'll be here, waiting for you."

"Alex." Zach sounded defeated.

"Dont think of this as a break up," I could no longer look at him. "We're just taking a break so you could figure things out on your own."

"I dont think I can," Zach begged. "I need you."

"You dont," I stood up leaving him sitting on his own. "I wont go anywhere."

I turned around and started walking away, it was hard to watch Zach in his miserable state. He was fighting to hold back his tears, but he lost. I could no longer see him like that.

"Alex," Zach called for me. I glanced at him. "Promise me you'll wait for me."

"I promise."

-

Long overdue please dont kill me in my sleep. Had an exhausting day, cleaned my room and got it repainted.

So I'm so so so sorry for the late update. So sorry for breaking Zalex up too.

- G