Die A Little

CHAPTER TWELVE

A couple of months had passed and just like always, Brian and I remained distant whenever we were at school. We really weren't ready for anyone to know about us but we always made up for it whenever we did get chance to see each other. Because Brian's parents were away a lot of the time, it was usually me making the effort to go over and see him, but I have to give it to Brian, he did make up for it.

Often, I would come home from school with a backpack full of his little notes. I know what you're thinking, weren't we supposed to discard them so that no one else would come across them? Yes. Yes, we were. But as of recently, I couldn't bear to watch them flush down the toilet or bring myself to rip up the paper.

Brian's words were poetic and melodic; he poured his heart and soul into writing them sometimes, how was I supposed to just throw that away? Exactly, it was heart-breaking to. So, about a week ago, I started to collect them, keeping his handwritten notes in a little box under my bed because who knows, one day I may want to read through them all again.

Though Brian and I were making the most of our visits together, we still hadn't gone much further in our sex lives. I think Brian still wasn't all that ready to go all the way with me and I have to respect that. It's a lot for me to handle and this is my first relationship, I can't even imagine what it must be like going from constant sex with girls to...well, me.

I'm not saying that we will never go all the way, but at this moment in time, we were happy with what we had. I didn't want to push Brian into anything that he was uncomfortable with and he respected my wishes too.

Lately, I had been building up the confidence to tell my mom. Not that I was in a relationship or anything, but to tell her that I was gay. I know now how I want to define my sexual orientation and for me, girls don't seem to get my motor running. All I could hope was that she would accept me for who I am and life would continue on as normal.

But, before I did anything of the sort, I felt that I should discuss it with Brian first. So, that I did when he snuck out of his house and came to meet me at my window.

I was sat waiting on my bed, reading a comic book, when I heard the familiar gradual tap of little rocks at the windowpane. Climbing from my bed, I stepped over to the window and pulled back the drapes. Sure enough, there stood Brian in an attempt to hide in the rose bushes. He smiled and waved up at me as I gestured for him that the coast was clear. He pulled himself up onto the garage roof as I pushed up my window, immediately feeling his lips come crashing down onto mine.

"I missed you," Brian whispered.

"I missed you too," I returned at the same volume, helping him through the open window and into my bedroom.

"Is your mom home?"

"Yeah, but she's asleep." I informed.

Nodding his head, Brian made his way over to the bed and collapsed down atop of the mattress. I turned to look at him as he waved his arms at me in a 'get over here now' demeanour. Rolling my eyes, I obliged and soon joined him as his arms enveloped around me.

Immediately, Brian nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck, dotting gentle kisses to my skin. It tickled and I couldn't help but cower out of his reach at the feel of him. I could hear his low groan at my attempt to escape him, feeling Brian constrict his embrace around me.

"Babe," He whined lowly.

"Bri," I voiced, interrupting him mid-kiss as he broke away and looked at me with curious brown eyes.

"Yeah?" He asked, furrowing his brows.

"I need to talk to you..." I acknowledged.

He tilted his head to listen closely. "I want to tell my mom."