Die A Little

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Once I had arrived back home early, I had plenty of time before my mom got home from work to make up a valid excuse as to why Brian was not there with me without her jumping to conclusions. I was contemplating telling her that Brian had called in sick to school or something stupid like that, that'd work.

I made my way up to my room, kicking my schoolbag down to the floor and stepping across to the mirror. Looking into the reflection, I could see the faintest sign of a bruise forming on my cheek as I exhaled a shaken breath. Peeling my shirt off was the biggest mistake I could have made as my gaze fell onto the dark purple bruises that covered my front. Joey had really left his mark on me.

I was studying the markings down my body, letting my fingertips graze along the contusions, each touch making me hiss out through gritted teeth at the sharp pain. No matter what I tried to tell myself, I continually felt to blame. If only I hadn't written that stupid fucking note, maybe I would have come home without a single scratch on me.

Soon enough, I could hear my ringtone sounding out from the bottom of my schoolbag. I made my way over and reached in to retrieve the device. Brian's name lit up the screen, my thumb immediately hitting the decline button. Brian didn't take the hint as he called right back within a second.

Hitting decline once more, I dropped my phone onto the bed and pulled my shirt back on, soon collapsing down onto the mattress on my back and staring up at the ceiling. My phone continued to ring, but I ignored it all. I didn't want anything to do with him, he had hurt me, almost betraying the trust that I had put into him. I couldn't believe that Brian would do such a thing...actually no, I can believe it. I'd fallen for him so hard that I had put the fact that he was the school asshole to the back of my mind.

Can you really blame me though? Whenever I was with him, he was the sweetest soul. He wouldn't hurt a fly and yet here I am covered in bruises no thanks to his stupid crew that follow his every order.

On what felt like the twentieth call, I finally picked up and screamed at him. "What the fuck do you want?!"

"Babe, listen—" Brian tried to explain but I cut in.

"No, you listen, Brian." I growled. "Fuck you. Fuck all of you. I trusted you and this is the outcome? I thought that you cared about me, I thought that I actually meant something to you! But no, I was just another name on your list."

"Sal, I don't just care for you..." Brian replied, though his voice was soft and gentle. He wasn't rising to my anger, he understood my frustration and hurt. "I love you..."

I froze in my place at his words, staring ahead of me with wide eyes, the phone almost falling out of my grip. Stammering, I was overwhelmed and now I didn't know how to feel. Was my anger justifiable? Had I overreacted? Perhaps Brian was just as confused as I was over this whole love thing.

"You...you, er...you what?" I swallowed hard.

"You heard me." Brian's tone had turned into one of confidence. "I love you."

"W-Why?" I perplexed.

"Because you are kind, loving and handsome." He expressed; I felt almost guilty hearing the sincerity in his voice. "I love the way you crinkle your nose when you smile. I love the little freckles that dot along your cheeks. I love how soft your hair is and your laugh."

I was at a loss for words. "I love how you care for me and run your fingers through my hair. I love the way you moan my name when I kiss you and how good you feel in my arms."

"Where are you?" I asked. "Aren't you afraid that someone may hear you?"

"Open your front door." Brian chuckled, ending the call abruptly.

Confused, I placed my phone onto the bedside table and headed downstairs. Through the frosted glass I could see the outline of someone at my front door as I made my way over and wrapped my hand around the handle. Pulling the door open, my eyes fell onto a very sheepish looking Brian; his cheeks were flushed a bright red and, in his hand, he held a single rose.

"What's all of this?"

"Sal, I'm sorry." He apologised. "Really, I am. I just...I was scared that they were going to find out and I'm not ready for that yet. But I know one thing, I do love you."

I didn't say anything as I took a step back and let him into my house, closing the front door behind him. "Do you forgive me?"

Sighing heavily, I looked down to my feet. "Brian..."

"Babe, please," He begged, sniffling. "I don't want this to end."

"Neither do I," I replied, bringing myself to look into his eyes. "But you don't understand how much that hurt me."

Brian nodded his head, letting me talk. "I trusted you. I thought that what we had meant something special to you."

"It does!" Brian protested.

"Then why do it?" I groaned. "Why expose me the way that you did and throw me into the deep end?"

Brian didn't know what to say in response. "You know those guys are going to target someone like me, and yet you did fucking nothing to protect me."

"I know," Brian admitted. "That was wrong of me."

Looking him in the eyes, I could see the regret and guilt fill the chocolate colouring. I knew that Brian deeply regretted what he had done and a part of me did want to forgive him, but at the same time I just couldn't bring myself to do so. The longer that we locked eyes on one another, the more I was caving into forgiveness. Brian had this way about him that drew me in; hypnotising and making my knees buckle.

I knew that he was deeply sorry for what had gone on at lunchtime that day. Brian wasn't the kind of person to apologise for something unless he genuinely meant it. I was on the edge of contemplation, studying the boy stood before me, soon opening my arms up and gesturing for him to come closer.

"Go on then," I smiled small. "Where's my hug?"

Dropping the rose to the floor, Brian came crashing into me, wrapping his arms protectively around my waist and lifting me up from the floor in a bone-crushing hug. I couldn't help but laugh as he peppered kisses to my cheek and jaw, gradually nearing my mouth, before his lips met with my own.

"I love you," He breathed, moving his assault down into the curve of my neck as I leaned my head back to allow for better access.

"I love you, too." I returned.

Breaking away just enough to look me in the eyes, Brian smiled at me; his orbs filled to the brim with tears and glass-like. They were so bright that I could almost see myself in the reflection of his tears.

"Sal," Brian voiced, dropping me back down onto my feet and bending down to pick up the rose once more. He fiddled with the stem of the flower, suddenly shy. "I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" I questioned, my mind clicking when I saw the look across his face. "Oh, you mean..."

"Yeah." Brian shrugged sheepishly; the blush growing wilder upon his face.

He ran his fingers through his tousled brown locks of hair. "I want to make love to you."