Die A Little

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

When I didn't respond to him in any way, Brian stood to his feet and stormed his way into the bedroom. He dug out a duffle bag and threw it onto the bed, before gathering all of my belongings from the dresser and stuffing them into the bag. Tears were streaming down my face as I watched him, but I had no fighting power in me to stop him. He had every right to kick me out.

Brian opened the closet and began to throw my sneakers out, letting them clatter against the floorboards. I had never seen him this angry before, it honestly scared me. We'd been through some shit, but this...this was on a whole other level.

"Can't we talk about this, Brian?" I asked through my tears. He stopped what he was doing to turn and look at me; his face was thunderous.

"What is there to talk about, Sal?" Brian threw back at me; I could see the venom practically drooling from his lips. "You fucked up."

"I know," I dropped my head in shame, my voice quiet. "But—"

"No." Brian cut in, throwing one of my hoodies onto the bed. "You don't get any buts."

He took a seat at the end of the bed and sighed heavily. "Sal, if this was the other way around, how would you feel?"

"My heart would be broken." I answered quietly.

"So, can you really blame me for the way I'm acting right now?"

His question cut deep, like a blade in my back slowly being dragged further down, each second more excruciating than the last. I lifted my gaze from the floor to find him looking at me, the hurt evident behind his stare. His eyes were like glass; filled to the brim with tears. If I looked into them deep enough, I would be able to see my own reflection. "You tell me what I should do, Sal...because I don't know anymore."

I didn't answer. Instead I continued to pack the bag in silence as Brian watched me. His eyes were burning into the back of my head, but I wanted to do the right thing. I didn't want to lose Brian, but if his happiness ever meant anything to me, I would listen to his sorrow and get out of his way before I made things worse for us both.

Zipping up the bag, I threw the strap over my shoulder and turned to Brian. My breath was caught in my throat as I leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to his forehead before breaking away and immediately leaving through the door. I silenced my cries and wiped the tears away from my eyes.

He didn't follow after me.

He didn't call out my name.

He didn't stop me.

He was letting me go.

As I took one last look at the apartment, I could feel my heart break inside of my chest. Closing the front door behind me was a numbing feeling and I felt as though my knees were going to buckle at any given second as I made my way down to my car, throwing my baggage into the trunk.

Sitting in silence behind the wheel, I let the radio play to drown out the eery quietness of the car. This didn't feel right, but I knew that it was my only choice. Just as I was about the ignite the engine, the heavens opened and the rain began to come pouring down from the clouds.

I had nowhere else to go, I couldn't show my face at home, my mom would be so disappointed in me if she ever found out what I had done. My car was my only shelter until I could find another place to stay. I drove with no final destination in mind, losing track of time completely.

Pulling into a deserted parking lot, I parked up in the corner and cut the engine, letting the car stall to a deafening silence. It was dark outside now and I had no clue how long I had been driving around the island for. All I knew was that I was starving and needed some food; the neon lighting from the highway drew in my attention.

Exiting the car, I threw my hood up and over my head, walking into the fast food place. There was only one other family sat at the booth in the corner, clearly on their travels. I stepped up to the front, studying the menu hanging up. Within my peripheral vision I could see the employee step up to the cash register.

"Good evening, may I take your order?" They asked, not caring to look up.

As I turned my attention onto them, however, I came to see that it was Joey. His eyes met mine; it was bittersweet to see how his blue eyes were identical to Amy's. When he noticed that it was me, he cleared his throat but I could sense a glower behind his blank stare.

"Just a number five please." I requested simply.

"You have a real nerve showing up here." Joey commented, making me question him silently. "I ought to punch you into the ground right now."

He scoffed hard. "First you fuck my cousin, then you cheat on my best friend?!"

"Look, Man, I don't want any trouble." I surrendered.

"There ain't going to be any trouble...yet." Joey warned, turning to the back to shout back to the chef on duty. "Order for a number five!"

His focus was back on me. "I go on my break in twenty minutes. Meet me in the alleyway, we need to talk."

"Talk?" I questioned. "About what?"

"You'll find out." Joey answered bluntly, soon handing my tray to me with some force. "Enjoy your meal, Fucker."

Confused, I made my way to one of the smaller tables in the corner, feeling the vibration of my phone from my pocket. Pulling the device into my hand, I could see that it was Brian calling me. Stupidly, I accepted the call and held the phone to my ear, only to hear silence from the other end of the call.

"Brian?" I asked, receiving nothing in response. All I could hear was his shaken breath. "Brian, please talk to me..."

Nothing. "It's okay to be mad at me, I take full responsibility. Just please talk to me? I need to know that you're okay, Brian."

The call cut out as I sighed heavily and returned my phone to my pocket. Worry filled every vein of my body before a pair of hands landed roughly at my shoulders. Joey leaned over me and muttered into my ear.

"Eat up, Vulcano, I'm on my break." His voice held an eery tone as I turned and watched him leave through the side door.

Deciding that I shouldn't wait to handle this, I threw the rest of my food into the trash and made my way outside and turned down into the alleyway beside the restaurant. Steam from the extractor fan fogged up the light shining down from the streetlight hanging over the road behind him; the puddles from the rainfall reflecting the moonlight from above us. My body was growing numb the closer that I got to him and before I could stop the boy, Joey's hands grasped hold of the collar of my hoodie and threw me back against the brick wall of the building.

"Nice to see you too, Joey." I commented acerbically, studying the anger behind his glare amidst the darkness.

"Now's not the time for jokes," He replied back. "Especially after the shit you've pulled, Asshole."

"What have I done, Joey?" I asked back innocently.

"You know exactly what," He threw me back harder against the wall, trying to intimidate me. "You fucked my cousin...at my own fucking party!"

"Did I?" I furrowed my brows, shaking my head. "Remind me what he looks like."

"She," Joey sneered. "You know exactly she looks like, don't fucking play clueless with me."

His grip tightened and I could see his knuckles beginning to turn white. "Own up to it!"

"Okay," I nodded. "Yeah, I fucked her. I was balls deep in that sweet, sweet pussy of hers. She was screaming out my name and I had her coming in minutes. Not bad for someone you call a 'homo', huh, Joey?"

Okay, I admit that my tone was sarcastic, but this was my moment to fuck with him after all that he put me through in high school. "She gives head like a fucking angel."

"Shut your mouth!" He shouted.

"You asked!" I argued back.

What happened next was a blur but my words made something inside of the boy snap. I can remember being thrown down onto the floor, I can remember Joey climbing on top of me and then my memory falls black. I couldn't move, I couldn't open my eyes; it was as though my soul had left my body entirely.