Little Note (gxg)

6

I had woken up at two in the afternoon the next day and my mom had taken care of Kaleb during the day which I was grateful for. I have been laying in bed almost all day looking at the text Taylor had sent me trying to figure out what it meant.

I can't really think since last night, my brain feels melted, and my skin is crawling. I don't want to bother Taylor again. The only other thing that calms me down is Kaleb and writing or playing songs.

I grab my glasses, placing them on my face before kicking my feet over the side of the bed and standing up. A wave of dizziness rushes to me but quickly goes away. Probably since I haven't eaten or drank anything today. My hands were still shaking a little so I put them in my pockets to try and make it stop.

I make myself a sandwich and head to my music room/studio. I play the guitar, piano, ukulele, and drums. Since I also sing my mom and dad made me a studio, and it's pretty sweet. I have a passion of making music. It's my dream to be a singer, but I think I might stick to the plan of helping take over the company.

There's a lounge area, a desk where I can write songs, some computers at another desk to put stuff together, a recording booth, and all the instruments hanging on the wall and in the corner.

Let's just say my house is pretty big. nine bedrooms, four bathrooms, a game room, kitchen, living room, dining area, movie room, a big basement and our yard is huge with an in ground pool.

I sit at the piano and look through my song books. I found a song that I wrote when I was in seventh grade, and started singing it, while my shaky hands hit the keys.

She stares at her ceiling once again,
With a hundred thoughts,
"Maybe she knows who I am?"..
"Actually, probably not",
She walks down the hall with her head down low
Scared to meet her eyes
Even when she hears her voice
She swarmed with butterflies.
It's impossible
To get you off my mind...
I think about a hundred thoughts
And you are 99,
I've understood
That you will never be mine..
And that's fine,
I'm just breaking inside...
And one day,
Maybe she'll stay,
And start to head over her way..
And one day,
She'll look into her eyes
And instead of breaking
She'll call her mine.
One day
She'll grab her by the waist,
And force them to meet
Face to face,
One day
She'll look into her eyes
And say that "you're my only light"...
Oh it's impossible to get you
Off my mind,
I think about a hundred thoughts
And you are 99,
Maybe there's a chance that
you will be mine
But right now...
I'm just broken inside.

I sigh, resting my head in my hands, thinking.

I had wrote that song in seventh grade when I thought of what my crush would do if I was with her and who I was like. Oh, I don't think I've said before, my bad. I'm gay. Before people start asking "what? Then how do you have Kaleb?". You know, parties, drinking, getting wasted and trusting in somebody I shouldn't have. Long story short, I was raped. I remember some of it, and nine months later Kaleb is here. He's the only good thing that came out of that.

I am out to everybody. My parents and family, my grandpa and my aunts and uncles and cousins know. They all don't care. It took some getting used to for my grandparents on my dads side before they passed, but they were happy as long as I'm happy. I'm so grateful for all of them.

My thoughts are broken by something on my leg. I look down and see Kaleb sitting there looking up at me, making me smile.

"Hey baby." I pick him up and kiss his head as he cuddles up against me.

I hear somebody clear their throat and I look back seeing mom, Kacy, and Taylor. I set Kaleb down gently onto the floor before running to my best friends and jumping into her arms. I finally understood what she meant now.

"I missed you so much," I mumbled into her hair as I put my head in her neck further as I started to cry.

"I missed you too love."

I heard footsteps, cooing, and a door closing, so I think they all left.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her once I pull away and dry my tears.

"I couldn't leave my bestfriend in this state of mind." I sighed as she looked at me with sad and concerned eyes.

"Thanks Taylor," I smile softly at her.

She comes and hugs me again and kisses my forehead, "anything for you Kode". She pulled me over to the lounge area in my studio and sat us down on the couch. "How are you feeling love?" She asks concerned. I bite my lip. I don't know if I should answer. "Come on Kodi.. don't shut me out, it's just you me. You can say anything. I just wanna help you" she says softly. I looked up at the ceiling as I feel tears bubbled in my eyes again.

"I feel horrible Tay.. I've felt like breaking down ever since I woke up. My skin is itching like crazy, and I've been craving old habits. My nightmares have been terrible and I'm just so exhausted," I say as tears start to slowly fall from my eyes.

"You gotta stay strong love ok? If not for me for Kaleb? Please? I'm gonna be here now, I'm gonna be with you this whole time. You can come to me for anything ok? I love you. While I'm here, I'll be by your side, and I'm gonna help you sleep and chase away your monsters." She kisses my forehead, then rests her chin on top of my head.

"I love you too. Thank you so much," I mumble. "How long are you gonna be here?" I ask as I start to get up and out of Taylor's hold.

"Only a month, but if there's an emergency back at home, I might have to leave earlier," she says as she follow me around the house. I smile knowing she's gonna be here for a bit. But it'll go by fast.

"Mom?" I call out.

"Living room," I hear her yell.

I go to the living room and look around. My eyes find who I'm looking for and go over to him. I pick him up and smile as he smiles and giggles at me.

"Hi buddy," I coo at him and kiss all over his face as he squeals and laughs. "Aunt Taylor," I sing and motion for her to come over.

"Hi Kaleb," she says as I hand him over to her. "I haven't seen you since you were like two months old.. you've gotten so big." Tears start to form in her eyes and I wipe them away with my sleeve and lead her to the couch.

After hours of talking and catching up. It's one in the morning. Taylor is about to pass out, but she says she's gonna sleep with me so she can keep an eye on me so I won't do anything stupid, and to help me sleep.

Before I fall asleep, I feel fingers running and a kiss on my forehead, "I love you Kode, sleep tight love".

Before I know it I was awake, breathing really hard, my cheeks were wet and Taylor was rubbing my arm up and down.

"You're okay babe," she whispered. "Lay back down, I'll get a wet rag." She soon came back with a cold, damp rag and ran it over my forehead and neck. I took a shaky breath before laying back down and put my head on Taylor's stomach. "I got you okay? You're safe here."

I sighed and closed my eyes as Taylor rubbed my back. Hopefully I'll sleep through the rest of the night.

———
The song is by Tate Mcrae, I think it's called "One Day" but if you go to YouTube and search "I wrote a song tate mcrae" it should be the first one that comes up.

I know there's like nothing with Kodi and Ella yet, but it's getting there I promise!!

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