Spider-Man One Shots

Twitter 2

Summary: There's no plot again lol just basically a compilation of tweets. You don't need to remember the first part to understand this one

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Peter
I remember when I met Harley-
CoUnTrY bOy I lOvE yOuUuUuU

>Harley
Beep beep bitch you're gay

>>Peter @ Harley
Yes, yes I am. And you know that; you are too. We are literally dating, Harley.

>>Deadpool @ Peter
What

>>>Spider-Man @ Deadpool
What

>>>>Intern @ Spider-Man 
What

>>>>>Tony
WHAT

>>>>>>Shuri
Look at all those chickens

•××ו

Shuri
If there's anyone left out there thinking I'm American, I swear to god I'll play Girl in Red even louder

>Gen Z
*plays Hayley Kiyoko*

>MJ
*plays King Princess*

>Tony
What do you mean? Everyone knows you're literally the princess of a foreign country, why would anyone think you're American?

>>Peter @ Tony
Aw so adorable

>>>Tony @ Peter
No but what does she mean

>>>>Tony @ Peter
Peter

>>>>>Tony @ Peter
PETER

>>>>>>Tony @ Peter
Hey don't ignore me :(

•××ו

Intern
Tbt to when Mr. Stark broke his elbow and was angrier at me than the criminal because "I don't care that you broke your elbow"

>Gen Z
Lol that's honestly me

>Tony
Can you blame me? I was asking you to get Bruce because it hurt like hell and you were come to me with that shit

>>Intern @ Tony
wAtCh Ya PrOfAnItY

>>>Steve @ Intern
Yes, Tony, watch your profanity. It's nice to see that younger people care too.

>>>>Peter @ Steve
Exactly, Mr. Stark. When will you learn that your actions have consequences?

•××ו

Spider-Man
They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine but you just can't get into it because they would never understand

>Tony
I'm not falling for that again

>>Spider-Man  @ Tony
You mean you're not mcfalling for that again because you wouldn't be able to get up?

>>>Tony @ Spider-Man
NO

>Gen Z
You'll never be satisfied

>>Spider-Man @ Gen Z
I'll never be satisfied

>Concerned Parent
Are you okay honey?

>>Spider-Man @ Concerned Parent
I am now. Thank you, Concerned Parent.

•××ו

Tony
Help I think Intern has been possessed

>Concerned Parent
Oh, what happened?!

>>Tony @ Concerned Parent
I just asked him what Newton's third law was and he got all weird singing

>>>Gen Z @ Tony
Can we get back to politics?

>>>>Tony @ Gen Z
What?

>>>>Intern @ Gen Z
Every action has it's equal opposite reaction

>>>>>Peter @ Gen Z
EvErY aCtIoN hAs It'S eQuAl OpPoSsItE rEaCtIoN

>>>>>>Spider-Man @ Peter
eVeRy AcTiOn HaS iT's EqUaL oPpOsSiTe ReAcTiOn

>>>>>>>Harley @ Spider-Man
EVERY ACTION HAS IT'S EQUAL OPPOSITE REACTION

>>>>>>>>Concerned Parent
Oh no they have been possessed

•××ו

Shuri
Did I make real and deadly lightsabers? Yes. I did.

>T'Challa
Why would you do that?!

>>Shuri @ T'Challa
Because yes

>Concerned Parent
That's amazing darling!

>Gen Z
Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it

>>Concerned Parent @ Gen Z
Wha

>Intern
Wow that's awesome it isn't like I already built those two months ago

>>Shuri @ Intern
What did you say? Sorry, I was mmmmm too busy blocking out the haters

•××ו

Tony
As a wise man once said, "drop your socks and grab your crocs"

>Tony
That was me. I am the wise man.

>Gen Z
But... what are those?

>>Peter @ Gen Z
ThEy ArE mY cRoCs

>>>Tony @ Peter
Please, I'm begging you to sTOP writing that satanic stuff, at least here

>>>>Peter @ Tony
But I have to write like I'm running out of time

>>>>>Peter @ Tony
Because I am

>>>>>>Tony @ Peter
wHAT

•××ו

Spider-Man
I want to be as unproblematic and happy as the guacamole woman but yk pUbLiC mEnAcE

•××ו

Spider-Man
Natasha and I were patrolling and she shot to the sky to shut up Mr. Criminal. I was torn between saying two things. It destroyed me.

>Gen Z
*gasp* She threw away her shot?!

>>Shuri @ Gen Z
This is why mom doesn't fucking love her

>Natasha
And you? Are we not going to talk about what you said when the criminal told you he'd end your life?

>>Spider-Man @ Natasha
"By all means, lead the way"?

>>>Tony @ Spider-Man
KID

•××ו

Shuri
If your name is J̶u̶n̶i̶o̶r̶ Peter and you're really handsome come on raise your hand

>Peter
(^-^)/

>>Intern
(^-^)/

>>>Spider-Man
(^-^)/

>>>>Tony
Peter what the fuck

>>>>>Concerned Parent
No but everything makes so much more sense now

>>>>>>Gen Z
Yes it do