Spider-Man One Shots

Vines mess

Summary: The Avengers are introduced to vines. Chaos reigns.

▪▪▪▪▪

Peter hadn't meant to say it! It just... slipped.

"Yeet!" was what Peter had said when Thor threw his hammer.

Not intended. Of course.

.

Nah, it had been intended. He had wanted to say it and confusing everyone was just a bonus.

Wanda smiled at him in amusement and said, "Back at it again at Krispy Kreme."

Without missing a beat, Peter started doing flips and proceeded to knock over a pile of training stuff. It was purposefully, of course; he was Spider-Man after all, but the team didn't seem to catch on.

"Oh my God, Peter!" Tony exclaimed.

"Are you alright?" Natasha asked in concern.

"Where does it hurt?" Clint asked him with care.

Then there was Vision. "Mother trucker, dude! That must have hurt like a butt cheek on a stick!"

Silence.

"What?" Steve finally asked. Peter smiled widely.

"I have something to show you. It will change your life." The teen motioned the hundred-year-old man to come over. "Come with me, child."

•××ו

Next time it happened, everyone was shocked to the core. Why?

Well, the Avengers had been fighting over the typical topic of "does pineapple belong on pizza?" when Captain America opened his mouth to speak.

"Fuck this shit I'm out."

Clint gaped. Tony spat his coffee. Natasha raised her eyebrows. Bruce widened his eyes. Thor blinked three times quickly. Sam choked on his chocolate milk. Vision smiled. Wanda smirked.

Bucky just turned to Peter for an explanation. Once again, he smiled.

"Do not fear, I will educate you."

•××ו

It was unexpected. No one would have imagined what happened next.

The Avengers were just chilling in the living room, listening to music and chatting, when the soldier with a metal arm entered the room.

"Hey Bucky, how are you?" Bruce asked politely.

Bucky stared at him blankly for five seconds straight.

"They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine but you can't get into it because they would never understand-"

They stood up and left the room. All of them.

All of them but the one who asked, and he too received a grin.

"Come with me, Bruce. There's someone who can show you a brand new word."

•××ו

It was expected from Peter, Wanda, Vision, Bucky and maybe even Steve, but Bruce?

No one would have ever, in a million years, thought it would happen.

That's why, when Bruce had a thoughtful face, they never guessed he would turn to Tony and say, "You're a billionaire... which means you have enough money for chicken nuggets."

Tony was taken aback by that and, before he could manage to get a word out, Thor spoke.

"Bruce, what the hel are you talking about?"