Spider-Man One Shots

Photographer

Summary: Peter decides to take pictures when he's Spider-Man and publish them anonymously on Instagram. And the fourth wall is nonexistent.

▪▪▪▪▪

"Karen, take a picture please."

Peter, as Spider-Man, was sitting on top of a skyscraper waiting to be needed somewhere. From that position, sunset was just too beautiful to simply ignore or risk forgetting, so he decided to immortalize it.

"It's done, Peter. Would you like me to save it in your phone or laptop? Or maybe post it somewhere?" Karen said because plot convenience.

Peter stopped. He hadn't thought of posting it before.

Maybe... maybe he could post it in Spider-Man's account?

No, people would think he just sat on rooftops all day when he could be helping. Posting them as Spidey was out of the question, but he still wanted to post them so the plot could move forward...

What if he posted them as Peter Parker instead?

Nope, not even an option. He wouldn't be able to explain the unreleased tech nor the way he got them. Nope, simply nope.

Then what?

An anonymous account seemed like the best option (considering the other option was not posting it at all). Peter got excited planning the username he would use and the theme he'd have.

And so he posted the picture he had taken with a caption.

"I don't follow rules. I follow dogs. In social media."

And yeah he did.

•××ו

Peter hadn't meant for it to go viral.

He had no intentions, he swears!

Who would have thought that posting pictures from impossible locations and heights with unreleased technology anonymously would call so much attention?

"That's not fair," Peter complained. "You're phrasing it that way to make it look worse! Don't do that, author. I feel stupid." He pouted. I ignored him.

The one good thing about it was that at least no one was connecting Spider-Man and the anonymous "@ Ugly_Azz_Noodlehead". No one thought Spidey was young enough to know and appreciate the art of vine culture, so they didn't consider him a possibility at all.

But that left unanswered questions for everyone. Who the hell was the person posting those? And how?

If everything had gone the way Peter wanted them to go, no one would have ever found out, but he should have known better than to believe nothing would happen to him when we're talking about my one shots.

"Oh, fuck you author."

So, naturally, when his phone was connected to a projector in his Spanish class for a presentation, he got a DM to @ Ugly_Azz_Noodlehead.

The DMs were the only kind of notification he didn't have blocked. He just had to receive a DM in that moment, didn't he?

No plot convenience, of course!

... why would you even suggest that? Makes no sense!

But the fact is that Peter was facing his class, not the screen, so he didn't notice. When he turned around searching for what had caused his classmates' mouths to drop open, the notification was gone, and he was left with no clue as to what happened.

But he dismissed the situation. His classmates were weird, after all.

•××ו

Word had gotten around in Midtown High about the exposed identity of the photographer. But they all kept quiet; being geniuses made them crave the feeling of pride they would get if they solved all the remaining mysteries, but they couldn't do that if everyone in the world was doing the same.

Doesn't sound believable? Okay, let me try again.

Word had gotten around in Midtown High about the exposed identity of the photographer. But they all kept quiet; they were all too scared Peter would stop if they told the world, and they all wanted to know what else would be revealed about him that wouldn't be if he knew he wasn't anonymous anymore.

•××ו

All the high school students were almost crying because of so much contained fangirling when the first thing finally happened. A little piece of Spider-Man's suit could be seen in the picture Noodlehead had just posted.

Holy fuck, did Peter know Spidey? Did he have any relation to the superhero?

This was all so surprising and unexpected!!!!

But a few minutes later, Spider-Man's official Instagram account commented in the post, "Nice hanging out with you, man!"

And yeah, Midtown High knew Peter was the photographer, but they still freaked out when they learnt his gender officially.

Then Peter, as Noodlehead, answered to Spidey, "... why did you just say that?"

"Oops I don't know I'm sorry"

"You're an idiot"

"I'm not gonna confirm nor deny that statement"

And yeah they all screamed.

•××ו

Sunsets weren't an uncommon thing in Peter's account.

"Then why were all the students screaming again?" You may be asking.

Well, I have no idea.

...

Okay, just joking, it was because the picture was taken on top of Stark Tower.

How did Peter Parker get there? How was he allowed to be there? Why was the quality of the image so good like what the fuck where did he get this tech

But then they all collectively died.

Because Tony Stark commented in his picture. Tony Fucking Stark.

Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy

"Promote my industry later, kid, dinner's ready"

WHAT THE ACTUAL-

•××ו

"Peter Parker!" A group of random girls marched towards the boy.

He turned around in confusion. "Uh... Can I help you?"

People openly stared. Hell, it was @ Ugly_Azz_Noodlehead! How could they not?

"You know Tony Stark?!" one of them all but yelled.

Peter paled. "No?"

They narrowed their eyes and another one of them spoke.

"Yeah? Your Noodlehead account begs to differ," she confronted him, because I'm sleepy and want to get a chapter out for my amazing readers.

"Oh, come on, author! You promised I would last over a week!"