Colors Of Fire

September 14

[Trigger warning: Violent Anger, Shouting]

5:28 pm

Taehyung wanted to visit Yoongi to make sure he doesn't starve himself like he usually does during deadlines, but when he reached, it was a tragedy. The room was bestrewn with canvas and paints. On a normal day, the single room Yoongi rented had an art station and a sleeping area, but today everything was chaos.

The bed was filled with canvases of different colors and pieces. One had florals, and others had geometric faces. Taehyung was weary of the messy room, but only after seeing Yoongi did Taehyung realize that it wasn't the artistic productivity mess but a helpless disaster mess.

"Hyung! " Taehyung called out, hurrying towards him to help him sit up.

Yoongi looked like an animal gone berserk.

"Get out," Yoongi said, his voice low and rumbling. His wild hair, paint-stained hands complimented his red eyes and dark circles.

"I just wanna know if you're okay-" Taehyung started, holding his hands out, palm facing Yoongi. He almost looked like a zookeeper approaching a wild animal.

"Do I look okay?" Yoongi laughed sarcastically, "I'm a failure at this."

"Hyung, you're good. " Taehyung said while approaching Yoongi once again, "Don't stress yourself too much. You still have plenty of time to finish your assignment."

"GOOD IS NOT ENOUGH!" Yoongi exploded, throwing the pallet he had near him at the wall.

"Hyung!" Taehyung whispered as he stood frozen on spot. He didn't know what to do.

"HOW CAN I SHOW MY PARENTS THAT I'M RIGHT WITH BEING JUST GOOD?," Yoongi kicked the canvas with the flowers and yelled, "THE MOST I CAN DO WITH GOOD, IS THIS SHITTY EXCUSE OF A PAINTING."

"Hyung! Nothing good is going to come out of you destroying things, calm down, let's talk about it."

"NO! I CAN'T CALM DOWN," Yoongi roared again," I've been calm for too long. If I calm down now, I'll never be able to run. I need to run Tae. You won't get it, JUST GO AWAY!"

"Why do you need to run? And to where hyung?!" Taehyung shouted back. If he was not getting shit into Yoongi's head by talking, he's gonna get it done by shouting.

"Tae just go, you won't get it." Yoongi walked towards Taehyung to lead him out of the room.

"I might not understand it hyung, but do you realize that the basis of your  work is to prove something to someone else?" Taehyung points out, backing away from him.

"Kim Taehyung, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying whoever you're trying to prove yourself for, has already won at keeping you from succeeding."

"You better shut it. Now."

"You're not using your talent for yourself anymore hyung. You are not working because you like it, nor because you want to do it." Taehyung asserts more. He needs to get to Yoongi before he can destroy himself more, "As long as you don't understand this, you will never be more than good."

Taehyung knew it was a bad move. It was probably the worst move, but he could see the change of glint in Yoongi's eye. Yoongi was still furious, more than furious even but he got through to him and that's what mattered.

Taehyung belatedly realized that he had backed all the way outside of the dorm when Yoongi shut the door in his face. He could hear his heartbeat and heavy breathing. He knew he messed up but also was sure that he did the right thing.

Taehyung called Hoseok and asked him to come to Yoongi's hostel. He knows if anyone can handle Yoongi right now, it was Hoseok.

His head felt heavy but it seems that was the most he could do for now.