HOSPITAL BEDS • Elounor •

23 | Messages

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This damn new room was exactly like mine and Eleanor's but it still felt awful and looked horrible to me.

I was crying my heart out in rage as I pulled my hair and cursed to the ceiling. I knew I had messed it up with Eleanor and I would try to make it up as soon as i could. Well, as soon as she accepted to talk to me again actually.

But even I was destroyed for hurting her, what bothered me the most was that that fucking doctor, Mark, had got to stay with her. Just when she needed me the most, I was away from her while he must have been taking advantage of her fragile state.

I needed to do something. I checked the time and it was 2:17 am. If Eleanor was feeling as bad as me, she would be awake too.

"El, I need to talk to you, please. I'm really sorry. Just let me see you, babe."

I sent her a message and laid in my bed waiting for her reply. Ten minutes went by. Twenty. Thirty. An hour. She never replied.

I told myself like a hundred times she must have been sleeping, but I knew her well. She never went to sleep when she felt sad or angry. And I guess I had caused both feelings.

"Eleanor, please answer me. I need to explain everything to you. I miss you."

I would regret texting her in the morning. Being insistent was not my type but when it was about Eleanor I could not just stop trying. She had showed me a facet of myself I did not know and I was learning to deal with it.

It was past 3 am already and tiredness was wining me over. I tried my best to keep my eyes open as I still waited for her reply, but my anxiety was bigger and I texted her once more.

"Eleanor don't do this to me, please. I need to be with you."

I was about to give up when my phone rang and I sighed in relief. She had finally answered me back.

"I don't want to talk to you. I want to be alone. Don't insist."

My heart jumped crazily in my chest but I was stiff on the outside. Her words hurt so much that I felt as if that message had drained all the happiness from me. I was devastated.

-

"Good morning, Louis." A warm hand on my forehead woke me up. I opened my eyes and found Nancy standing beside me with my breakfast. She left the tray in a small table and helped me sit straight.

"What time is it?" I asked her as I removed the sheets looking for my phone. "I fell asleep."

"It's almost 11, and you were supposed to sleep, son." She told me and placed the tray in front of me.

"Nancy, how is she?" I asked her rubbing my eyes and taking a sip of my coffee.

For the first time since I had known her, Nancy looked at me a bit angry, making me frown.

"She is asleep." She informed me sternly.

A bitter sensation invaded me and I felt guilt and fury running through my veins. If even Nancy was mad at me then it was definitely worse than I had imagined and I was the only one to blame.

"Nancy I know I screwed it up but she has to know-"

"Louis, please. I know you are trying to help her but this is not the way."

"But Dr. Frederickson and I-"

"YOU TWO ARRANGED THINGS FOR HER ON HER BACK!" She yelled and pressed her hand to her forehead trying to calm down herself. "I'm sorry," she apologized and turned to me, "but do you understand what it meant to her? She was beginning to open up to someone and you-"

"Failed her. Betrayed her." I finished the sentence for her assuming my fault.

"I'll let you know how she is when she wakes up, but don't force her to see you. She needs time to think and luckily-" she hesitated.

"Luckily?"

"She will understand you and forgive you." And with those words she left.

The rest of the morning seemed eternal to me. I turned the TV on but paid no attention to it. My sisters texted me but I did not bother to answer them. I would not speak to anyone else until I felt better or I would end up messing another relationship. Ruining one was enough.

Nancy came back at lunchtime with my tray and before I could even ask her she told me Eleanor was still asleep. I pictured her in my mind, lying in her bed with her wavy hair over her shoulders and her white delicate hands on her stomach.

"I'm going mad in here alone." I told Nancy wishing her anger had gone by now so we could talk as we always did.

"Well, you won't like what I have to tell you." She shrugged shyly.

"What is it?"

"Today you have an appointment with-"

"NO!" I shouted. Was she kidding me?

"Louis, Dr. Smith is still you doctor and you have a treatment to-"

"That fucking idiot is the reason why I'm here!"

"What?" she genuinely asked me.

"He suggested me to move to a different room so he got to stay with Eleanor to check on her before he left."

Nancy pressed her lips tight and immediately looked away. She was hiding something from me and dissimulating was evidently not her strength.

"Because he left after that, didn't he?" I asked her pressing my hand into fists as I feared her answer. "Nancy?"

"He- he," she paused and sighed, "Eleanor was sedated and fell asleep right after you left, but he still stayed with her the whole night."

There was a strong pressure in my chest, like if someone had kicked me taking all the air out from my lungs. I laid my head back and bit my lower lip to suppress a huge curse. This guy was playing smart, but I would not let him steal Eleanor away from me.

But suddenly it hit me.

If Eleanor had been sedated and asleep all night, how had she replied to my messages? Or better said, who had replied? 

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Agus