STILL THE ONE

Chapter 15 - I Think Too Much

Stop, take it in
And I breathe for a minute
I think too much when I'm alone
I never win when I
Keep all my thoughts inside
So I pick up the phone

And my dad said, Shawn, stay with me
Everything will be alright
I know I haven't seen you lately
But you're always on my mind

I don't know what
You're going through
But there's so much life
Ahead of you
And it won't slow down
No matter what you do
So you just gotta hold on
All we can do is hold on, yeah

These days are flying by
Weeks feel like minutes
I can't remember being small
I try to figure it out
I can't seem to find out how
I guess I don't know much at all

Camila sat in the car trying not to cry. Shawn wasn't answering her texts and she really had no idea what just happened. Roger was chatting about what they had to do over the coming weeks as well as more mundane stuff and she tried to listen but felt like her heart was breaking. Something had happened and she didn't know what it was.

"Hey are you listening?" Roger said suddenly.

"Roger, did you notice anything strange about Shawn before we left?"

"Apart from the fact he was still standing around in his wet clothes?" Roger said. "I saw him talking to some of the crew when he should have been getting changed."

"Did he look upset or anything?"

"No, just standing there eating an apple, chatting to them."

What had happened? Something must have.

"He was very abrupt and cold with me, it wasn't like him."

"You don't know him very well, Mila, maybe he's moody."

She wanted to yell at him that he wasn't, that she knew him almost as well as she knew herself which was how she knew there was something wrong. She texted him again and he didn't answer although she could tell he was reading them. Roger dropped her off and she went inside where her mother was in the kitchen cooking.

"Hey Mama, what you making?" She tried to sound happy and light but knew she had failed when her mother dropped the spoon she was holding and came around to hug her.

"Mija, what's wrong?" she asked, stroking her hair. Camila stared at her and then it all came tumbling out, the whole story starting from the YouTube videos, her call to Ziggy, her trip to Toronto and then their (mostly sexual) relationship. She cried the whole time, and her mother just made all the right noises, said all the right words and held her tight while she unburdened her heart.

"So what is wrong?"

"I don't know, something happened today, maybe something the crew guys said to him, and then he decided to go home to Toronto without a word to me, and he won't answer my texts or pick up when I call. Something is wrong."

"Well you have two choices, you let him go home and see his family for a few days, maybe that is all he needs, and then sort it out when he gets back, or you go over there right now, and demand an explanation."

Camila's instinct was to do the latter, but her logical side thought maybe he needed to go home, and they could sort it out after. She would just send supportive messages, not needy, scared ones, and she would be waiting when he returned.

"Thank you Mama, you're right, I feel much better now I've told you."

"About that, so you have been lying to me the whole time? And when I surprised you at his house?"