STILL THE ONE

Chapter 37 - Sometimes It All Gets A Little Too Much

Sometimes it all gets a little too much
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much

Camila waved Valessa and the twins off as they headed to baby gym.  Usually Camila went as well unless she had a work commitment, it was so much fun watching them climb all over the equipment and do the obstacle course set up in the old church hall.  But today she asked Valessa to take them, and requested her not interrupt she and Shawn when they got home.  The kids would be due for their nap then, and once down, Valessa usually used that time for study. She was studying to be a midwife.

She walked back inside and went in search of Shawn, knowing she'd find him either in the gym or the study.  One thing he hadn't abandoned had been working out, and in fact at first he was obsessed and worked out for ridiculous lengths of time every day, but now he was back to his normal program.  He went into town to see his trainer at the gym once a week and then followed his program at home, and he ran.  He ran a lot, but she knew that was not so much exercise as exorcism.

She found him in the study, poring over information on some new crises he could help with his foundation.  He was obsessed with the rainforest and climate change at the moment, and she could see pictures of animals and knew he was back at it.

"Hey," she greeted him.  Usually he would say "Hi honey, I'm sorry, I'm really busy..." and she would leave him to it, but she was sick of being pushed away. Those days were over.  Before he could say his usual thing, she went up behind him and began massaging his shoulders.  He put his head back and then chuckled.

"You are so bad at that.  Your hands are too small."

"Your shoulders are too big." 

He swung the chair around and before he knew what was happening she sat in his lap.  He looked shocked and that annoyed her.  Since when was her coming in and sitting on his knee something to cause that reaction?  She kissed his nose.  "I want to show you something," she said. "Can you come with me?"

He indicated the papers on the desk, "Actually I'm....."

"That can wait, this won't take long," she pulled him up out of his chair, and he had no option but to go with her.  He sighed and followed along, he knew when she put her mind to something, it was all but impossible to resist her.  She led him down the stairs toward the studio and he began to pull away but she turned to him with a frown.

"Shawn Mendes, you will come with me, and that's the end of it. You have no choice so give in gracefully."

He stood stubbornly for a few moments when he realised where they were going and then with a sigh he gave in, and she pulled him along into the studio.  The lights were on, everything was set up and she led him to the piano.

"Sit," she said, pushing him onto the seat.  He was glowering at her now.

"What the fuck are you doing Camila, I have a lot of work to do upstairs, I...."

"Shawn Mendes, what are you known for? Saving lemurs? No. It's admirable and I love that you have a big, kind heart and work tirelessly for the Foundation and other charities, but you need to make music. You NEED to baby, your soul is dying. You can't live without music, that's why you are so miserable."

"THAT'S why I'm so miserable? Not because I nearly lost my wife and son in one night while I WASN'T THERE?" he said incredulously.

"Oh give it a rest Mendes, you "almost lose" us every time we get in a car, cross a street, or eat food from Lucky's Takeout! There's seriously just as much risk!  JJ had asthma attacks before and since. He's been to the emergency room once when he was a baby, and to the clinic twice.  You took him on one of those, I took him the others. And the car accident was scary, yes, but remember when you ALMOST got hit by that truck on the interstate? And when that stupid woman ran in the back of the SUV when Valessa had the kids in the car?  We take risks every day baby, just living. You don't have to sacrifice your love of music to pay for the guilt that you weren't there!  Nothing happened!  And you could have been going for a run, or at the gym, and it would have been the same!"