Everything & More (Book 1 in the E.C.N Series)

Chapter 11-Martha

The slamming of the front door and stomping up the steps made me groan under the pillow as I knew what was coming through the door in 3....2...1... BANG. The bedroom door swung open and hit the wall behind it. Determined steps made their way toward me.

"Ouch! What the fuck?! Is that a Lego?" Lori said with a loud groan.

Another pair of steps were being taken towards the bed on Jonathan's side. They were different from Lori's, they were slow and deliberate, almost calculated. Like they were approaching a baby deer whose mother just got shot.

"See, I told you she was here." Lori still had a slight annoyance to her voice.

The second person in the bedroom was silent though it didn't take a genius to figure out who it was by the fresh mint scent that filled my nostrils. God I could get lost in how good he smelled. I really didn't want him to see me like this, a complete train wreck due to my sorry excuse of a husband.

The bed dipped and my body tensed as my heart raced. An irrational part of me thought Jonathan was back, only for a split second. Soon enough his voice came through my absurd thoughts. "Martha? You need to get out of bed." Ryan's voice was deep and delicate, like he was afraid that I would break at any moment.

"Really? You're trying that approach." Lori hissed in a whisper. She was annoyed and impatient and I couldn't blame her with the way I've been acting.

"What would you have me do? I'm not gonna man-handle her."

"She needs to stop this now."

"It's been a month."

"Exactly a month, which is longer than what I agreed to. She has a daughter that needs her and a house full of bills that are going to pile up if she doesn't show up to work on a regular basis."

What does she mean 'agreed to'?

"Lori please."

"No, enough is enough."

I let out another groan as I turned my body. Raising my arms I moved the pillow away from my face, "Why is it so bright in here?"

Lori faked a gasp, "She speaks." I rolled my eyes as I pushed to sit up putting on my back on the back board. My eyes were focused on the covers, the pattern, the texture, it was the most interesting thing to me at the moment. I was thinking back to what she said, work was my last priority. The first three weeks I was pushing through trying to be a super mom. This last week something clicked in me one night. Laying down alone... again, staring at an empty space. I couldn't help but think about Jonathan.

I thought I was doing better, moving on.

After they went back and forth for a few minutes, Ryan let out a defeated sigh, "Martha, I know you're hurting right now."

"Really, you do?" I said sitting up in my bed probably with a terrible case of bed head. "Someone that you trusted with everything, broke you too." Ryan's face was unreadable as I snapped.

Lori sat down on the bed by my feet, "Sweetie, I can't imagine what you are feeling right now, but you need to get out the house, please." Staring down at my hands on top of the comforter, I contemplated leaving this room. My throat was tightening at the thought. All I could muster as a response was shaking my head and when I looked up all I saw was disappointment in Lori's eyes and anger in Ryan's. At first I was taken aback by the fire but realized it wasn't directed towards me. No Ryan had a certain brewing hatred toward the man that put me in this state. His eyes softened when he grabbed my hand in his, caressed with his thumb, and gave a supportive grin. My anxiety about leaving the room suddenly diminished.

My left hand was being held as well and I was met with Lori smiling, "There is a little girl that you love, that needs you."

Oh God Paige

"What is wrong with me?" My hands left theirs to cup my head as I hung it in shame.

Lori stood up, I felt her wanting to get through to me, "Nothing is wrong with you, you're hurt but you can't let that consume you." I feel like I'm drowning

That feeling only got worse with her next words, "Plus, you can't go to a parent teacher conference looking like that." Lori has a real talent for dropping information on people with no remorse.

"What?! What the hell do you mean a parent-teacher conference?!"

"Relax, it's in two months....but that means you need to get yourself together, now. One, for Paige and two, so you can win."

"Win?" Ryan and I said at the same time.

"Yes, win this divorce...if he sees you like this, he's going to think you are miserable without him." I am miserable

Though I didn't miss the slight roll of Ryan's eyes as she said that.

"Lori! I haven't... I didn't. I haven't even gone into the city to even start the process, so he's still my husband."

"If you want that can be the first thing you do today....actually make that the second, the first being a shower," she stated as her nose scrunched up.

I looked down at myself and back up at them. Ryan saw the look on my face and immediately sent a scolding look, Lori's way. "Don't listen to her, you look beautiful."

"Yea okay," she scoffed," I'm going to run the shower and clean this place up. If you are not in the bathroom in 10 mins I will throw a bowl of ice water on your head." Lori sent a quick smile our way and went to my bathroom.

When the water started to run Ryan began to speak. "Martha—"

"Don't, I know I'm a mess. I know I have to get my shit together for Paige's sake."

"Knowing and doing it are two different things." I nodded understanding that my words meant nothing until I showed true effort. "And not just for Paige's sake, but for your own as well. Martha you have to believe that you can be happy again, otherwise putting you back together is only going to be temporary."

"TWO MINUTES!" Lori called out from the bathroom. My eyes widened as I hurried the covers off of my body and ran into the bathroom.