Everything & More (Book 1 in the E.C.N Series)

Chapter 55-Martha

Delirium Houzz had become a popular spot for us to go to. And after realizing we were with Ryan we haven't had a problem with having to wait in line either. The music filled my ears as I stared at the bar top. I was drawing circles with my finger as I kept thinking back to earlier today.

Grieving is like a rollercoaster because just when you think it's over...

"Hello earth to Martha." I looked up to see Lori waving her hand in my face.

I sat up a little straighter to give her my attention, "Oh sorry"

"Where did you just go?"

I sighed, "Is it that obvious?"

"Considering you didn't hear a single word I said about my date last night...yea." She gave a light hearted chuckle to let me know it was okay.

Lori continued to stare at me intently. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No...well yes...you just look exhausted."

I scoffed at the obvious observation, "That's because I am... emotionally anyway, so sorry for the lack thereof in my tone."

Lori placed her hand on top of mine, her thumb giving very reassuring and trusting strokes, "Talk to me. I know when we first met up I said I wouldn't pry and just let you do your thing. If that is still the case then I'll be here but I know you."

I sighed giving the bar top a tight lip smile as I debated. "It'll make you feel better." She sang; a light chuckle left me as I knew she was right.

"Well it didn't go how the others did."

"And that's...bad? I only ask because the other sessions haven't exactly ended in sunshine and rainbows."

I nodded in agreement, "True. This time didn't end in sunshine and rainbows either."

"So how was it different?" She asked as she took a sip of her drink through her straw.

"There was a moment when Jonathan had to leave the room and Dr. Salner was just very insightful about...you know... the process of grief and everything."

"And before that?"

"Well you know, we talked about what happened the night of family dinner, how he kissed me and how I told Jonathan I wanted a divorce."

"Mhmm."

"Lori," The conversation just kept going through my head, "I was practically begging him to let me go. Yet, I found myself getting mad when I found him on the phone with Jackie, I mean I can't have it both ways here."

"Well you said Dr. Salner was insightful about grief. What did he say?"

"He said it was like a rollercoaster."

"That's perfect! It's only been a couple of months babe, you are allowed to still feel some type of way toward his contact with the woman."

The sound of a glass being placed in front of me grabbed my attention. I looked up seeing a bartender giving a small smile. "This is from the guy over there."

Lori and I quickly looked in the direction he was pointing. The guy looked familiar, yet I couldn't place him. "Does he look familiar to you?" I asked Lori.

"You don't remember him?"

"Should I?"

"I guess you probably wouldn't, considering you were pretty wasted at the time."

"Who is he?"

"I don't remember his name but he was from the first club you let me drag you to, you know when you found out about Jonathan and Ryan came and hauled your ass over his shoulder."