𝖦𝖮𝖮𝖣𝖭𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳 𝖭 𝖦𝖮 ❕RUDY PANKOW

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘 - 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄

august 12th
maison's pov

    ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ i've ever been so nervous for something in my life. my hands were trembling and i couldn't stop tapping my feet.

  today is rudy's birthday and my gift to him was the album i wrote for him. about him. same thing.

  "stop doing that you're making me nervous." rudy says, interrupting my train of thought.

  "i can't help it." i explain. "what if you hate it?" the pace of my tapping increases. rudy turns so he's facing me, reaching over and clamping one hand on each knee, applying pressure so i'm unable to move.

  "baby," he starts, making my heart rate increase due to an entirely different reason. "if you made it it's gotta be great which means i'll love it. stop stressing out." he completely sincere in his comforting words but it's only enough to stop my antsy tapping.

  "if you hate it lie and say you love it." i order as i stretch off the side of my bed to drag my computer over.

  he squeezes my knees almost warningly. "i won't hate it."

  i open my laptop and type in my password quickly, heading to a file on my desktop labeled by his name. i could've risked someone finding it before today but everyone knows things i use for music are off limits unless noted otherwise. i hate when people touch my stuff because i'm scared they'll mess it up somehow.

  "pick a number one through ten." i say, mouse hovering over the files containing what i've been perfecting for weeks.

  rudy retracts his hands from my body in order to flop back on his bed. his hair flattens against the pillows and he tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling. one arm lays over his stomach but the other is laid straight out beside him. he's waiting for me to join him.

  "four." he says eventually.

  i glance at number four, blushing at the title. it was originally titled simply as 'rudy' but austin insisted i change it in case i ever released it and things went south between us. as much as i hated to admit that he was right, he was right.  it was now labeled as 'the guy i have a crush on.'

  but ever since we'd confessed neither of us had made the effort to make us more. we acted like a couple but we're not one.

  rudy tugged on a belt loop of my shorts while pouting adorably at me. "cuddle." he whines.

  i scoot up the bed thinking he wanted to lay his head on my lap but i'm pleasantly surprised when he drags me down so i'm laying beside him. he rolls over so his head is laying on my shoulder and his left arm is strewn over my stomach.

  i manage to grab my computer and pull it next to me so i can press play.

  he giggles suddenly and says, "i like the title."

  my cheeks flush. "shut up." i mumble, smacking his back softly.

  we lapse into comfortable silence as my songs play through. they were all instrumentals but they meant a lot to me.

  when blanket, the last one we listened to, finished playing rudy abruptly sprung up into a sitting position, pulling me with him. he might've overestimated how light i was because i fell right into his chest, hands splayed beneath his collarbones as i attempted to catch myself. or maybe he did that on purpose.

  "how long have you been working on those?" he asked, one arm winding around my waist in order to keep me in place.

  "a couple weeks." i admit.

  he's staring at me with this look i can't explain. it's so intense and passionate and raw it causes a kaleidoscope of butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

  "can i kiss you?" he blurts.

  "please." my mouth answers before i can even think.

  rudy dips his head down slightly, licking his lips nervously. i push upwards as he descends. our lips meet hesitantly, both afraid to ruin whatever good thing we had going on currently.

  but it just feels so right.

  rudy tugs me impossibly closer to his chest, kissing me firmly. my arms wind around his neck as his free hand reaches up to hold my jaw.

  he tastes like strawberry chapstick.

  when i find myself needing air i try to pull away but rudy follows me, grip tightening on my jaw. it causes a frenzy of butterflies and my mind goes a little hazy.

  my back is nearly hitting the mattress with how far he's followed me, unwilling to detach our lips for even just the slightest bit of air.

  i push at his chest and he instantly pulls away probably fearing he'd done something wrong. i open my eyes just to see the intense worry is evident in his pretty eyes.

  chuckling, i reposition myself on his lap, cupping his cheeks and pressing kisses to his face. this boy is making me do all kinds of things that previously made me squirm in disgust. when he relaxes under my touch, smiling up at me, i know that this boy would end up meaning more to me than anything.

  i press one final kiss to his lips and he whines, trying to chase after me again but i lean back.

  "happy birthday ru." i whisper, smiling softly.

  "i'll only say thank you if you kiss me again." he grins cheekily. rolling my eyes i lean forward, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as he places a comforting but crushing grip around my waist.

↯

"it sounds weird." i complain, falling back onto my mattress. chase had crashed our date, completely unintentionally, but instead of leaving he kicked us out. we'd then come back around mine, as austin had left to attend the party chase was throwing at his and rudy's apartment. it was meant to be a surprise birthday party for rudy but we'd snuck out of it. either everyone noticed we were gone and said nothing, or they were too drunk to realize we weren't there.

"baby," rudy sighs. he clasps onto my ankles and drags me back to the edge of the bed. "it sounds great and you know it does. you just did the thing where you listen to it so many times you start hating it."

i furrowed my eyebrows, sitting up. "i do that?"

rudy nods. "all the time."

okay so he knew me better than i thought.

"i'm scrapping it." i finally decide. i slide of the bed onto the floor beside him, aiming to delete the file off my laptop.

except, rudy has other ideas. he slides it out of my reach and forces my guitar back into my lap.

"it's good. and you're going to finish it." rudy persists.

"b-" i try to protest. he flicks my knee and i fall silent as he fixes a hardened stare in my direction.

"maison clover shut up and finish this song." he demands. i hate that he knows i won't finish a song i don't particularly like unless forced or coerced. we'd gotten so close so fast it scared me.

he treats me right, he treats me good. so why am i so hesitant?

oh wait. those could be lyrics.

i leaned over him to grab a notepad and pen, ignoring the way he grinned victoriously at me out of my peripheral vision.

"i'm gonna go raid your pantry." he says, squeezing my knee as he stood up.

"mkay." i answered, half paying attention to him as i furiously scribbled across the yellow pages. his chuckles echoed in the otherwise empty house as he exited the room.

. . .
my babies🥺
maison writing songs? we love to see it

dedicated to jjcanrunmeoverrrr :)