Paralyzed | Malec

Chapter 46

My father decided to go home as Asmodeus couldn't enter in the institute. I knew that a part of him thought that he would betray him again and I truly hoped that he wouldn't. I was scared to put my trust in him but there was no other choice and especially now... Especially now when Alec and Samuel where captured by Lucifer.

We needed him.

I needed him.

My heart clenched by the thought of Alec. I didn't know how he was feeling. I didn't even knew if he was alive and the thought of losing another parent made me want to lose my mind. It made me want to lose control all over again as I did before when my mother was taken away from me.

But I couldn't do that.

Everything depended on me too much. I had so many responsibilities that I carried with me and I couldn't slip a second. I couldn't let my emotions come in the way when every action I took could lead to something that I couldn't reverse again. Not when the outcome would cause more damage than actually comfort me.

"What are you thinking about?" Alexis asked me, causing me to come back from the puddle of thoughts that blocked away my concentration on the powerpoint slide she was presenting to show which states Lucifer already targeted.

It was already past midnight and I was exhausted but somehow, I was restless to fall asleep. I rather sit down here, coming with solutions or tactics to go up against Lucifer than to be sitting all alone with these worrying thoughts in my head. They would make me go insane.

I sighed out deeply and shrugged off my shoulders as I saw that everyone was looking at me. I shook my head to reply a "No." to Alexis. She looked at me concerned but didn't pressure me more in front of everyone and I was glad.

Everyone knew that I was stressed. With everything that had happened, how couldn't I be and all for me to join Lucifer? I blamed myself and I knew for a fact that there were thousands of Shadowhunters blaming me too.

They were probably glad that I was suffering so much in return of it and a part of me was too. It was easier to feel that excruciating pain than dealing with the guilt that came with being the centre of attention in all of this.

"Washington, New York and Brooklyn are the three states that are affected the most. The mortality rate of mundanes have gone up to two thousand and it has been rising ever since." Alexis said.

Before she could speak again, someone spoke out, "How many Shadowhunters have died in the process of this?" I looked at the unknown male who was around our age.

Alexis sighed out as if she felt the pain and that already made me realise that it was a bad, high number. I swallowed the lump in my throat away as I couldn't bare hearing this anymore.

"More than three thousand... We haven't been able to track all of them down." Alexis said in a low voice. I could feel the unknown boy's eyes piercing at me but I didn't look up.

"When is the second wave coming?" I asked and looked up at Alexis. She looked at me unsure.

"I am afraid that it might be any time soon. From between four am till six am." Alexis said. We were at full attack and we were not able to do anything.

"How many Shadowhunters are still willing to fight?" I asked. Alexis sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"Many have gone into hiding. The second wave of Lucifer will be deadly..." Alexis spoke out quietly and I sighed out sharply before standing up. Everyone's eyes were gazing at my tiny body.

"I am going out. It might caught him off guard." I said and was making my way out.

"Ella." Chris quickly spoke before holding my arm and pulling me back. I sighed out before closing my eyes as my back was facing him.