unconventional

New Kid in Town

The car pulled into the studio, and my driver, Lenny,  looked back at me with a smile. We had only met 20 minutes ago but something about his intense hippie energy and zen, it was comforting.

Reminded me of my Father.

"You nervous, kid?" He asked, turning his body around to face me.

I looked at the window, all of the black SUV's lined up alongside one another.

"Yeah, a little." I managed to croak out, feeling my palms begin to clam up and my hands start to shake. I've performed in front of sold out theatres, but for some reason this was really tearing me up inside.

And it wasn't until just now, literally in this moment, I started to feel it. Dakota said I would, and even when I thought I was in the clear, here comes the anxiety train.

Toot. Toot.

"You got the skills, you got the looks, you'll be good. Alright?" I can't help the smile that comes to my face, this man is a carbon copy of my Father.

"Alright, thanks Lenny." He holds out his fist to me, which I happily bump. I open up the door and step into the wonderful world of television.

A small lady with her hair up in a messy bun, points over to me, turning to the taller blonde beside her they both look in my direction.

If i'm not mistaken, that's Pilly Pie.

The blonde starts walking over to me with a small smile on her face. "Scout, i'm Lily." She says excitedly, embracing me in a small hug. "It's so nice to meet you."

"You as well."

"Nervous?" She says in a slightly hushed tone, her arms on both of my shoulders.

"On the verge of shitting my pants." She laughs loudly.

"Don't be. But I figured we'd walk together?"

"Yeah, of course. You lead the way." We start our walk through the studio and she explains how the next few months of filming will go. She also explains how excited everyone is to work with me.

Which I cannot understand, i'm just some loser from Broadway who gets day drunk on Rosè and dances horribly to old disco music. 

We reach the entrace to the studio and she waltzes right in without a care and I can't help but wonder if that will be me oneday. Just walking around studios in Hollywood without a care.

"Scout this Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuck the lovely creators of our little show." I shake their hands with a smile, hoping they can't sense my nervousness.

"Pleasure to meet you guys."

"Pleasure is all ours, we are so excited you're here." Brad says.

"Thank you so much for joining us this season."

"Of course, i'm thrilled."

A few moments later I found myself sitting at a large table, the rest of the cast, the producers and writers shuffled in.

I appreciated Lily, she sat by my side and introduced me to all of those new faces that came in.

The almighty Jessica Lange gave me a hug and said, and I quote, "I'm a big fan of your work."

It's already been a great day.

Lily handed me a water bottle and sat back down beside me. "Who's next to you?" She looked over the table at the nametag beside me. "Oh, Sarah. She's gonna love you."

"Sarah Paulson?"

"That's me." A voice boomed from behind us. Both of our heads spun around, Lily immediately stood up and embraced the woman in a hug. I awkwardly stood there as the two caught up.

"And this is Scout Monroe." Sarah holds out her hand, a small smile on her face.

"Pleasure to meet you, Scout."

"Pleasures all mine."

"Alright everyone!" Ryan says breaking the intense eye contact between Sarah and I. "Let's get started."