the flaw in being perfect - rini au

fifty four

The car ride to the graffiti spot is silent aside from the music blasting through the speakers. Nini truly enjoys riding in the car with Ricky. She feels like she's constantly in a teen indie movie as the wind blows back her hair and she listens to the music pouring from the radio.

Once they get out of the car and start their walk towards the spot, Nini strikes up a conversation.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Ricky asks, confused.

"Turn the music so loud with the windows down when you drive," Nini clarifies.

"Oh," Ricky ponders. "I guess I like to drown out the world sometimes. Music always calms me down or distracts me when I need it."

"Music calms me down, too." Nini smiles to herself. "My moms used to sing me to sleep most nights."

Ricky walks next to her in silence. He's not really sure how to talk about her moms with her.

"My favorite song growing up was this little barber shop tune and my moms would harmonize to it and use different silly voices to cheer me up," Nini trails off. "I miss them, but I can still hear them singing to me when I listen to that song."

Ricky starts to smile. "I like that."

"Yeah, me too." Nini softly smiles up at him.

Ricky casually interlaces his fingers with hers as their hands graze each other.

The two walk the rest of the way to the graffiti spot in silence.

Once they sit down, Ricky decides to jump in with his explanation.

"So, you want to know why I reacted the way I did?"

"To all of it." Nini nods.

Ricky exhales, preparing himself.

"Well, for starters, EJ is an asshole," Ricky begins. "I wish he didn't get on my nerves so much, but he treats people like objects and I couldn't stand watching it happen to you. When I thought you chose to go out with him, I assumed you couldn't see through it. I thought you were choosing him over me."

"Anyone who'd choose Elijah Caswell over you is an imbecile." Nini shakes her head.

"Don't feed my ego too much, Princess." Ricky nudges her.

Nini rolls her eyes playfully.

"Speaking of Princess, why does it really bother you when I call you that?"

"It doesn't really bother me, per say, it just.... doesn't feel right," Nini trails off.

"But you are a princess."

Nini blushes, looking down. "Just because I dress up as one for kids' parties doesn't make me a princess."

"No, Nini. That's not what I'm talking about. I've told you already that I think you're kind and beautiful and talented and everything a princess is and should be. You're the closest person to a princess I've ever met." Ricky makes eye contact with her. "You're amazing, Ni."

Nini chews on the inside of her cheek. "Thank you, Ricky."

The two fall into a silence once more.

"Hey, Ricky?" Nini finally asks.

"Yeah?"

"Your reaction when you saw my bruises, I, um..." Nini trails off. "I couldn't help but notice you reacted a little.... odd."

Ricky stares off into the distance. "How do you mean?"

"You seemed to... recognize them?" Nini shakes her head. "Sorry, I'm probably just reading into it. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"No, uh..." Ricky runs his hand through his hair. "You're right."

"I'm right?"

"I've seen bruises like those before," Ricky admits.

Nini quietly looks over to him, not wanting to disturb his thought process.

"It's in the past, and it's nothing to worry about now," Ricky continues, though he seems to want to end the conversation there.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but I'm here if you'd like to talk about it."

"Maybe another time." Ricky nods to no one in particular.

"I have an eating disorder," Nini states, also staring off into nothing.

Ricky's attention snaps to her. He wasn't expecting her to share something like that.

"That's why I went to rehab. I starved myself."

Ricky remains silent again.

"Ashlyn doesn't do drugs. She's not like that. The only reason we don't talk is because she saved my life. Then she dropped me." Nini takes a breath. "I mean, it's not like I blame her. I'm a hot mess. I wouldn't want to be friends with me either."

"Nini, you're not a hot mess," Ricky finally chimes in.

Nini let's out a humorless laugh. "Would someone who isn't a hot mess relapse over a bad date?"

Ricky doesn't respond.

"I just let it get to my head that my first date was with a guy that only wanted me for the status, then he treats me like shit and uses my name to look good after. It's shitty, but why the hell did my brain decide that I couldn't eat because of it? Why can't I just be a normal girl with normal problems?"

"That was your first date?" Ricky asks.

"That's what you got out of that?" Nini can't help but laugh.

"No, no, sorry," Ricky shakes his head, letting himself chuckle as well at his own stupidity. "It's just surprising to me that you hadn't been on a date before."

"Well, I was never really into the whole dating scene, then I became the girl whose parents are dead, then the girl who disappeared from school, then the damaged goods that no one wanted to mess with. People are a bit put off by my situation."

"Everyone has their baggage. Some people's are just publicized while others get to hide it." Ricky shrugs.

"Yeah. I suppose so," Nini responds, staring off into the distance.

Ricky and Nini sit in silence for a while after that.

"I'll have to clear some things up at school tomorrow," Nini finally says with a sigh.

"You don't owe anyone an explanation, Ni."

"I do if I don't want everyone thinking Ashlyn and I are drug addicts." Nini rolls her eyes.

"How did Gina get so much credibility, anyway? Hasn't she always been a gossip?" Ricky furrows his brow.

"She gossips the truth most of the time. People just go with it."

"Well that's annoying," Ricky huffs.

Nini can't help but laugh.

"What?" Ricky asks.

"Nothing." Nini shakes her head, smiling. "Just... Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making this whole dramatic mess a little more bearable." Nini looks up and makes eye contact with a soft smile.

"Anytime, Princess." Ricky smiles back.

Nini scrunches her nose. "I still need to get used to that."

"You will," Ricky pauses. "Eventually."

Nini shoves his shoulder lightly.

The two spend the next hour or so staring off into nothingness and enjoying each other's company.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~

bonding 🥺

ricky didn't tell her everything he needs to, but they're getting there

how do you think nini is going to clear things up?

-jenna