𝙃𝙚𝙧 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙩 || Eren Jaeger

𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝒹

1

«We've got to live,
no matter how many skies have fallen»

—D. H. Lawrence

_______________

Everything is still in the cemetery. Even the tree leaves seem to hold their breath, refusing to shudder against the gentle breeze blowing across the field.

Levi doesn't know how many times he's set foot in a cemetery, but regardless, many people would agree that one time is too many.  Whenever he does wind up in one of these utterly depraving, soul-numbing places it is always the same. Nothing breathes... except him. Everything is still... with the exception of himself. It is horribly isolating.

Which, thinking it through, is quite ironic since people come here to "visit" or be "reunited" with their dead loved ones.

Cemetery; a frozen pocket of time where there is no change, no continuity, except for the wretched addition of graves.

Levi hates cemeteries.

But today he makes an exception. The last time he made an exception like this was for June, the departed love of his life, who now rests peacefully in a small burial plot in the Underground. Well, as peaceful as one can be down there. His only regret is that they didn't bury her on the surface where at least some sunlight would shed on her grave. It's too sad back then the Underground was his only choice.

He could move her... perhaps by special request via the Survey Corps. And find her a spot to rest near Farlan and Isabel's graves... but he doesn't know if his heart could survive such an act. It'll revive old sentiments, and that just might kill him.

Yes, that's right. It's hard enough being here now, Levi thinks. Perhaps it's better— in a twisted, admittedly selfish way— that June stays buried Underground along with all the painful memories he keeps hidden away there. The more out of sight they are, the harder it is for his past to resurface and haunt him.

Levi sighs forlornly, a foggy breath drifting past his chapped lips. The flowers in his hand are getting heavy.

"Alright, shitty-eyebrows." He says in his usual cutting tone. "You know I'm no good at this. So just take these."

He bends down and places the flowers on the grave. The weathered, gray headstone used to be polished enough that he could see his own vague reflection, but not so much anymore.

Erwin Smith
13th Commander of the Survey Corps

Staring at these for too long could easily be a form of torture. If Levi blinks, he can almost see the letters change, and like a flicker they read "Hanji Zoe" or "Johanna R. Ackerman" or even his own name, "Levi Ackerman".

Levi clenches his jaw and closes his eyes, embracing the serene darkness until he's sure his mind will stop playing devilish tricks on him.

And it does. He opens his eyes and the headstone reads as it should— "Erwin Smith".

Although that's not much comfort either.

Shoving both hands in his coat pockets, Levi turns on his heel and treads back to his horse, ready to return to the center of Trost where the ever-enduring Survey Corps awaits him.