𝙃𝙚𝙧 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙩 || Eren Jaeger

𝟦:𝟢𝟢 𝒶𝓂

NOTICE: this chapter doesn't contain spoilers, but does reference topics not yet touched upon by the anime, including Eren's reason for going to Marley and the Survey Corps' trip to Marley during the time-skip.

3

«...and the more hurt she gets, the more venomous she grows.»

—Emily Bronte

_______________

It is merely 4 in the morning.

But without fault Johanna jolts up in bed with a scream tearing out of her throat.

She comes to her senses quicker this time. She looks around, registers the room, ignoring the small clock on her bedside table. She doesn't bother reading the time, she already knows it's 4:00 am. It always is.

Well... she thinks drowsily, rubbing the bridge of her nose in an effort to coax the sleep out of her equally tired and frazzled mind, at least this time I didn't fall off the bed...

It happened once. Not the best way to start a morning. What's worse, the cadets at work asked about the bruise on her jaw that day. She lied and said she beat up a gang of bullies trying to steal from a kid.

Not that its far from anything she would get herself involved in.

Johanna stumbles out of bed. The sun might not be out, but that never stops her. Heavy and dragging, she heads to the bathroom and blindly turns the light on, her legs feeling like lead as she moves to the tub and turns the valve with a squeak. The shower head sprays icy cold water straight onto her head and she doesn't fight it— she never does. Bent over the edge of the tub with her head dunked under the constant flow of water, she closes her eyes and concentrates on the dampening of her hair instead of the rapid pulse still throbbing in her chest. She erases the grueling images that still linger in her mind. Images of the nightmare that plagues her frequently.

You're not there, she thinks to herself as the cold water runs down her face, soothing her nerves.

The inside of the Titan stomach... along with the rotting cadavers of hundreds of eaten soldiers... is finally pushed far back into the depths of her mind.

One thing isn't, though.

As Johanna takes a shower, puts on her clothes, and gets ready for the day one proposal lingers in the forefront of her mind like an annoying fly that refuses to buzz off.

Hanji wants you to come back.

Tucking her long hair into a low bun, she jams her black rancher hat on her head.

Then... she second-guesses herself.

She figures she'll have to get accustomed to the unwelcome change in her hair. Untucking her bun, she lets the long and neglected tresses fall down her back.

She stops and looks at herself in the mirror a second more, but quickly looks away and turns when a decrepit sense of disassociation blocks her from identifying with the person staring back.

Johanna leaves her small tenement and locks the door behind her. She waves goodbye to the landlord at the front garden, who is tending to the weeds.

Today is different. She will not be making an appearance at the training camp like usual. No. She'll have to show up later in the afternoon to say goodbye to the newly graduated.