One in a Million (Wish 5)

18 - Minutes

Chapter Photo credits:
@dmbaker Depositphotos.com

Katie was numb. If she felt anything it would be two bodies pressed on either side of hers. She knew they were there, holding her up when they stood and holding her hands when they sat. Her father and Tom in his uniform. They sat behind his family, but Katie wasn't so numb she didn't notice his mother refused to look at her. She knew everyone else was because she was crying. She hadn't stopped from the moment Tom and her father appeared at her door.

There was no chaplain in uniform, because she wasn't his family. He was her everything, but to the army she was nothing. She felt like nothing - empty.

If not for the two men on either side of her, she would never have made it to Miami. "Amen." The whole church responded. She felt Tom's presence leave her. He took his place as pallbearer. The funeral Mass was over and she remembered none of it.

She looked at the wooden box as it passed her. Her father tightened his arm around her. It was better than looking at Tom's face. He was stronger than her, but the pain was etched deep. Was he really in that box? They knew nothing about where he was or what happened. They just know he didn't come back alone. They returned him with two other boxes, but they only knew they were either Marines or perhaps Navy Seals. The unanswered questions made her angry.

His family followed the flag-draped casket. Eventually her father supported her down the aisle. She looked down, because every time she looked up people were staring at her. Did they know who she was? Did they wonder who the redhead making a scene was? She didn't care. Once on the sidewalk, her father fumbled for his vape pen with his shaking hands.

Tom appeared back at her side. "You okay?" His voice was so soft she hardly heard it. She looked at him but couldn't respond. Was she okay giving the place and the event? Maybe. She was upright. Was she really okay? No, she would never be again.

Tom drove the rental car in the procession to the cemetery. No one spoke. The music was off. The air was lifeless, like her heart. Once they arrived, Tom left them to attend to his duties.

She couldn't comprehend that her Paco was going in the ground. She could shut her eyes and feel him and taste and smell him in her mind, but none of those things would ever be possible again. She was numb, as once again Tom returned to her side and put his arm around her.

The graveside prayers were brief, including the military honors he deserved. Her body shook at the volley of shots. She wept when taps were played and saw Tom reach up to wipe his own eyes. They presented the flag to his mother, and she wanted to scream. That's mine!

The priest announced the gathering at the family home. People surrounded the family. The three stood alone apart from the group. Nino walked over. He looked as awful as she felt. He hugged Tom, and she heard the two men weeping. He turned to her with an expression of sorrow and compassion. He looked enough like his brother it hurt.

"Sorry, Katie. He loved you more than anything. Mamá is angry because he stayed away. He's gone, and she blames you because she hadn't seen him. Sorry, sorry, sorry." He wept, and she wept as Tom gathered her close.

When Tom spoke his voice was clear. "Tell her I need to take care of Katie. We'll be leaving." He shook Nino's hand. "Call me if you want to talk about him."

Nino nodded and left. Katie turned back to the casket, still not lowered. Suddenly she felt paralyzed, like she couldn't leave him there in the hot sun or the dark earth. How could the other half of her heart be gone forever?

Tom coaxed her away. Another silent ride took them to the hotel. They were scheduled to leave in the morning. Her father went into his own room. She didn't know why Tom bothered with three rooms. Maybe for privacy, but she didn't want to be alone. She couldn't be. She had slept at Tom's apartment in his bed. He always started on his couch, but her sobs would bring him to the bedroom where he'd hold her until she dozed off.

He wasn't Paco, but she couldn't sleep alone. Tom followed her into her room. He had dressed in his, but had stayed in hers.

She sank into the chair, knowing she would feel less exhausted if she had run a marathon.

He loosened his tie. She looked at him. His eyes were red. He scrubbed his hands down his face. They were best friends - brothers.

"You should have gone to be with his family."

"No! He would have wanted me with you. He asked me to take care of you every time he left. I won't let him down. He stood by you and so will I. Jesus Luce, what are we going to do? How are we going to go on?"

She shook her head. Should she care that he called her Lucy when her Ricky was gone? Paco never called her that, so maybe it was better than her name, the one that rolled off his tongue with love.

What would she do? She couldn't think straight. Is his mother going to take away his things like she did the flag? She needed to go home so she could collect Paco's things and bring them someplace safe - Tom's.

"I wanna go home!"

Tom looked at her as if he'd forgotten she had a voice. He stared for a moment and took out his phone. "There's a flight tonight. I can see if we can all get on it. Let me get Murph."

Tom left her, and she didn't move. She should take off her black dress and stockings. She looked like a black widow. She didn't have the energy. The men appeared. Her father had changed out of his suit into shorts.

"Kay baby?" He ruffled her hair like he had when she was little. Normally she would care because he messed it up, but she didn't. She didn't even care that she whiffed the stench of smoke.

She heard Tom's voice but couldn't concentrate on his words. She trusted him to know what was best.

He sighed. "I switched us to a flight at seven tonight." He turned to her father. "She needs to eat. I really want to take a run." His voice cracked.

"Go. I'll stay with her."

She had lost her identity. She was a 'her' that people talked about, but she didn't even care.

Tom squatted down in front of her. "I'll be back. I'm going to run and shower." He kissed her forehead. She nodded.

Once he left her father nagged. "You need to eat."

She shook her head. "I can't." If he can't then I can't, but there was so much he couldn't do. He would never do. They were going to be together forever and raise babies. Poof, it was all gone because of something they would not tell her anything about.

She stood and walked over to the bed and curled up. If only she could sleep. She closed her eyes.

She listened as her father talked about her mother. He had loved her and married her. He lost like Katie, but her mom was sick. He had time. Time to say goodbye.

Tom was back. He was sitting in the chair with his phone. How had he come so soon? She sat up, needing the bathroom.

His eyes followed her. She grabbed some clothes and walked into the bathroom. She avoided the mirror, not wanting to see. When she opened the door, he looked up at her.

"There's a sandwich." She shook her head. "I haven't seen you eat in days. I don't want you to end up in the hospital. Luce, help me help you."

"Who's gonna help you? Bella?"

He shook his head. "I don't have the energy for her. I told her when I cancelled on her."

Like a distant memory of a dream, it came back to her. "Your tuxedo."

"Nope. I am here for you. Even if I didn't promise I'd want to be."

She nodded. "I need you."

He stood and unwrapped the sandwich. "Just a bite or two."

It tasted like cardboard, but she chewed and swallowed once, then twice. It took too much energy.

"We'll be home tonight and we'll take it one day at a time minute by minute."

She looked at him and sobbed. He held her and sobbed too. They would need a lot of minutes.

A/N I never said this was Tori's story, but I promise she'll have hers. A shout out to malmulla for her comment in Chapter 3. Did no one look at my beautiful cover?