One in a Million (Wish 5)

28 - Who's counting

Katie missed Tom but was tired of crying. Instead, she kept herself busy and was too exhausted not to sleep. She worked four twelve hours shifts a week, mostly overnights. It was hard for her and Tom to Skype, because of the time difference, so she often took a brief nap and woke in time to talk to him before he went to work the following day. He was a day ahead.

When she saw his face on her phone, he looked fresh and ready to start a new day, and he smiled. "How was work?"

"Good. I was on pediatrics."

"You're favorite." He knew her.

"One of them."

She really liked the maternity floor too. Mostly because of the babies, although the mothers were nice. She hated surgical floors filled with older people.

She said, "I was thinking of going to the beach."

"Thanks a lot." He teased her before they reluctantly said goodbye.

Truthfully, she was proud of herself for surviving without him. Missing Tom differed from missing Paco. She knew he would come home. She pushed away the guilt that crept in because she missed Tom more. She had mentioned it to Laurie.

Her friend scoffed. "Oh course, you miss Tom more. You love him. Even though you still mourn, your life is with Tom just like mine is with Dean."

"I do love him."

She shocked herself when she spoke the words out loud. Laurie looked at her like she had two heads, but for Katie it was a revelation. She made an excuse and went into her house alone. She paced back and forth as she thought about what she said and what it meant. Tom took care of her out of obligation, because he promised he would. It was part of why she loved him; he kept his word. He was kind and caring and fun. The fact that he was sexy didn't hurt either. She had visions of him taking off his shirt after his run and wiping his sweat. He was so hot, and it left her speechless. She missed that sight.

Some mornings, just after she came home from work, Jon would check in on her. It was hard not to love him, since he was so much like Tom. One morning a few weeks before Tom was due back, Jon said, "I'm proud of you. He was so worried, and you have done more than okay."

"It's good practice for when I'm really on my own." The thought depressed her, but she believed Tom would want to move on, maybe back to Tori or another woman worthy to be with him. Jon laughed at her and she felt angry. She never got angry, but his laugh made her feel emotional. "Don't laugh! It's not funny!"

"Sorry! It's just I thought you knew my brother better. He will never desert you."

She wanted to believe him but didn't want Tom to give up his life because he promised. She stopped herself from bringing up Tori. She did the week before and Jon paused before replying.

"Victoria is special, but they broke up for a reason. Maybe you and Tom should go and tell her she was his past, not his future."

She wondered who Tom's future was. Jon seemed to think it was her. It wasn't fair of him to settle, because of a promise he made to his dead friend. She would let him know he could let her go free. She loved him too much to force him to stay in a loveless marriage. She had proven she was strong enough to work and support herself.

She drove herself to the beach and put out the blanket. She thought of Tom and his swim. Instead of sitting, she walked to the water's edge. She waded in the clear water and watched others swimming. A little girl ran right into her. She had filled her bucket and turned around without looking. She looked up at Katie with big brown eyes, surprised to see a grown up there. Katie turned when she heard a voice calling out. A tall man came jogging towards them. She stared a moment, because he reminded her of Paco.