Bad Taste (Part I) // Colby Brock

17 - Rebecca

          The morning was dreadful. That hole in my chest had returned sometime during the night and now I was struggling, feeling it weighing down on me. Tara and co. had made it better, but nothing had completely filled it... except for almost last night, however, I didn't know what the cause of that was, and it didn't seem like anything had changed since then, which was incredibly infuriating. Anything to get my mind off of blue eyes, holey hearts, and longing was absolutely necessary, so when I saw a text from Jax asking me to come down to the studio and review their newest creations, I welcomed it... with a middle finger emoji and a 'k'. He didn't respond but he'd seen it.

I dressed more e-girl today than I ever had before. I wore a black-and-white-striped, long-sleeved shirt beneath a black shirt with a skull on it — some kind of band I didn't really recognise, above a plain pair of black jeans. I added a chain, just because I didn't want to remove the chain feature of my look.

My hair and makeup was the same as always as I headed out of my apartment. LA was pleasantly warm, but something in the air reminded me of last night's cold when I stepped out to the- I quickly ordered myself not to think about last night anymore, for the safety of my own sanity, and I demanded that I would never think about it again unless I absolutely had to.

I pulled up at the studio shortly after, grateful for once that Jax had texted me. Though, I still dreaded to see the designs; I had never liked anything they'd created. In his text, Jax had mentioned the other designers for the Woods company —the evidence of their existence here on the parking lot — and I didn't know what most of their styles were, because I rarely saw them. Jax was the only one and even he was rarely here when I was. Perhaps I needed to start coming at normal times and managing what was going on like I was being paid to do.

Perhaps.

Music was blasting through speakers when I walked in. It was a pop, up-beat song that I already knew I hated, but I could hear a few different voices singing upstairs. Mainly one loud girl who had a smile in her voice. Laughter underlined the sounds. But the friendly, happy atmosphere halted abruptly when one of the girls saw me. Her face switched from a smile to a wary sort of respect. I understood, as I was known to have a temper in here, too. I'd broken a chair once and demanded that they fixed it, because they were the ones to make me so angry. I realised suddenly that this girl who met my eyes was the same girl.

Jax sat next to the sound system so he quickly reached over and turned it down to halfway. Anyone who hadn't noticed me before noticed me now, sinking into their chairs looking uneasy. My jaw clenched.

"Hello, Re- uh, Miss Woods," Jax said calmly, though I could see that he was feeling the same as everyone else. "All of the completed designs are downstairs, if you'd like to see?"

I nodded silently, and Jax was across the room in the next second. I followed him out the door and down the spiral stairs. I glared at the break room, where I had found him, before following him into one of the storage rooms. As soon as he opened the door, I saw five mannequins standing facing all different directions with similar tones of the same pink hue. They were different styles, though, and different fabrics and patterns. I despised the colour — for obvious reasons — yet, as he turned the mannequins to face me, I liked them. All of them — which was a massive first. Jax presented the last — a familiar design I had seen the morning I found him — and I kind of loved it. Everything seemed to work, like it was perfect.

"Um, what do you think, Miss Woods? We wanted your opinion before we submitted anything to your- uh, to Mrs Woods and co."

I looked between each mannequin before I looked at him, stunned. "You know I don't like you right now," I said slowly, catching the fear in his eyes again. But there was hope hidden somewhere inside. "But even I have to admit when you've done good" — and that hope grew. "You should submit these."

"We should?"

"Yes. I think they would go down well with Mrs Woods and the rest of the higher designers." I didn't even recognise my own voice, so I added, "But don't think you can submit all of your works. They aren't all decent."

Jax smiled, as if he knew that the last comment was added in for my benefit rather than his. He placed his hand on his mannequin and pointed upstairs. "Shall I tell them, Miss Woods?"

"Yes," I answered instantly.

"Okay." He slipped passed me, jogging excitedly up the stairs. I turned back to stare incredulously at the mannequins now that I was alone. How had they done this? The last works I'd seen were shit — and that was putting it lightly. Something had changed, and I wanted to know what, but talking to them was the last thing on my agenda. I walked back into the hall and stared at the door I hadn't been in for months. 'Miss Woods' Office', it read. It wasn't my mother's, but mine. My eyes flicked to the door handle curiously, and I went to reach for it when I heard the cheers of excitement upstairs.

I snapped out of my daze, staring at the spiral staircase. I considered going up there knowing it would likely ruin their celebrations, as they didn't want me to see them so happy about something I considered nothing. However, I didn't have time to ponder ruining their fun for very much longer, because my phone started to ring. I found Katrina's name across the top and almost groaned, but answered anyway. Something to sour my mood was good, as I didn't like the fuzzy feeling that came back.

"What?" I asked, hostile.

"Hey, it's Katrina. I don't know if you have my number yet..."

It dawned on me that Tara probably given my number out to everyone else.

"Anyways, how are you?"

"Katrina, is there a point to this call?" I asked, purposely slamming the break room door as if I was busy. She was silent on the other side. I crossed to the kitchen area, opening the fridge, suddenly hungry.

"Right, sorry. You're busy."

"And I'm not the chatty type," I reminded her.

"I know." She sighed heavily, using all of her chest. "I guess I just wanted to make sure that... you know, you were alright. And that you remembered us and everything."

I frowned, my mind was elsewhere. The call with Tara flicked through my head, and I cringed. Anything but that, I reminded myself.

"Yeah, well, I am fucking busy and I can't just sit and chat about my health. Find someone else to talk to."

Katrina didn't say anything, so I hung up, and then I just stared blankly at my phone, going back over everything that I had said. Was I feeling guilty about being rude?! Aggressively, I slid my phone into my back pocket and searched for something to throw. A perfect opportunity came to mind, and I rushed from the break room to my office. I entered it for the first time in a while, having to unlock it first as I didn't trust the designers to stay out of it while I was gone. When I got inside, I slammed the door, grabbed the nearest empty folded-up cardboard box, and threw it at the wall. It was only cardboard, so it did no damage, but relieved some of my tension. It wasn't good enough, I needed more.

Just as I was about to grab the phone from the desk, I heard footsteps in the hall. With my door open, my rampage would be heard by whoever that was, so I huffed and stomped out. I had barely even looked around the room. I locked up quickly and turned to find the girl whose chair I broke standing beside the break room door, watching me. She glanced at my office.

"You haven't been in there for a while," she said.

"No." I sounded angry.

"It might be a bit dusty. If you want help cleaning..." She trailed off.

"I don't want help with anything, thanks." The 'thanks' was sarcastic. I stormed along the hallway and up the spiral staircase, feeling her stare the whole time. Nobody in the designing room dared to look at me as I walked through, boots pleasantly thumping with my steps. The music was turned up again unapologetically, creating an atmosphere I should have been able to feel, but everyone was afraid of me, so I continued out of the building entirely.