forever my baby

𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞

there's a few ways this conversation can go. it can either end up with us arguing or us finding common ground. i just hope we don't fight.

her car pulls up next to mine and i get nervous. i wave to her and she does the same. i thought inviting her to breakfast was the safest option.

"hey mom." i say getting out of my car. "hey marie." i hug her for a second. "hungry?" i smile testing the waters. "starving. let's go." my mom says and we start walking into the restaurant. we wait to be seated before actually talking to each other.

it's still weird how my mother used to be my best friend and now we have this weird relationship. at the same time, i guess this is life, things change.

"so i invited you to breakfast because i wanted to apologize." i lay it all out. "for what?" she somewhat smiles. she's loving this. me apologizing. "i'm sorry for pushing you away." i say then look down realizing that's the only thing i needed to apologize for.

"and?" my mom crosses her arms. "and?" i say with a little bit of attitude. "yes and." i look at her confused. what else do i need to apologize for?

"you lost me there. what else could i possibly apologize for?" i sit there. "for leaving me!" she frowns. i scoff. "for leaving you? you left me mother not the other way around. you basically disowned me." i tell her. "i was angry."

"and i was scared," i accidentally say too loud. "sorry." i immediately apologize. the waiter comes and takes our orders and i cool down for a bit. "i'm sorry i wasn't there for you when you needed me."

she apologized. she actually said the words. i'm honestly shocked.

"it's fine, you're here now." i sit back and she does the same. "well you didn't need me anyways, madeline looks like she's doing amazing. i always knew you'd be a good mother." she says making me smile.

my mom did raise me right, i'll aways be grateful for that.

"it's a journey. a hard one, being a mom is hard. i don't want to do anything that will mess up her future. i want her to have the perfect life." i sigh. "nobody's perfect baby and life is hard. my biggest piece of advice is to let kids be kids. teach them what you think is best but at the end of the day they're still going to do what they want. shit, you didn't listen to me."

i laugh a little. "yes i did. i was a good kid." i wasn't lying. i was a good kid. "until you met parker." my mom adds. i bite the inside of my cheek. yeah, until i met parker.

"you know he's not a bad person mom. he did hurt me though and i'm not sure if i'll ever heal but he's not a bad person." i sit back. "is that why he's back? you forgave him?" she asks. i just nod.

"you know i don't particularly like him or mason. don't get me wrong, i love mason, i really do, especially how he was there for you. i just don't think either of them are right for you. you seem different, unhappy." she says making me nervous.

"you could've kept that to yourself." i look down at my lap. i don't think too much about what she said. i didn't want to start overthinking. "sorry."

the food comes and we sit there in silence for a little bit. "me not being happy has nothing to do with them." i say finally.
"are you happy with mason?" she almost stops mid sentence.

"can we just eat mom?"

☀︎☀︎☀︎

"why did you want to meet here?" liam asks as i pull him into the bar. "because lauryn is babysitting maddy and i want to get drunk." i drag him to the bar. "i don't think this is appropriate." he says and i look at him. "liam we're both adults here." i roll my eyes.