forever my baby

𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧

"hey." i get nervous. for some reason i thought seeing him would make me feel better. like i would get some kind of closure or something but it was harder to see him and know that i made him unhappy.

"what are you doing here?" he asks and my brain just stops functioning. i look around then at my hand. "here." i hold out my hand exposing the ring. mason looks at it for a moment then grabs it. he puts it in his pocket. it's weird. this whole thing is weird.

"i just wanted to apologize, i didn't mean to act like that. i was just scared and hurt. i can't picture my life without you, even if you're just my friend. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for not being there for you when you're always there for me. i've told you this so many times but you're a really good person. there's no one like you. i understand if you're mad at me and want nothing to do with me. i just wanted to let you know that you're appreciated, and whoever you're with next, is the luckiest person on earth."

i feel bad. bad for him. i know i'm not the easiest person to deal with. i don't blame him for leaving. they all do.

"i guess that's all i have to say." i smile a little before walking away. i was going to tell him that i loved him but i wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say at the moment.

"wait," mason grabs my hand then pulls me into a hug. i was not expecting that. now i'm confused. "i don't hate you. i've told you before that nothing you could ever do can make me hate you. i love you and i'll always be here for you, you know that. i just need time to myself. i know life is hectic for you but it also is for me. there's a lot of shit i have to deal with."

he lets go. "no i understand. i love you too." i feel like i can finally take a deep breath.

i feel alone but i know that i'm not because i have my daughter. no matter what happens, i'll always have her.

"bye mason." i say before leaving and walking to my car. "bye bri."

☀︎☀︎☀︎

i sat in my car for twenty minutes after that. my car door opened and i waved when i saw noah jump in the passenger seat. "i didn't know you were still around." i say looking at him. he changed. it's crazy how fast the years went by. "i wouldn't leave without saying goodbye."

i look forward and stare. "what's wrong? you still sad?" he asks. sad was an understatement.

"i'm okay, i was just thinking..." i look at him. noah looks out the window, then back at me. "about?"

"my life. i should be in california with you. not still living under dads roof, going to school online in washington," i sigh. "you were always the favorite child. you always had good grades, you always did good in sports, you were popular and still probably are in college, you just naturally excelled in life. then there's me."

i shake my head. there's me. "seriously? you did good in school, maybe you weren't the best at sports but people did know who you were. besides none of that shit even matters. i am the favorite child though." we both laugh.

"i just feel like i failed in life and i failed mom and dad. you got a full ride scholarship to usc because of soccer and academics. i got a baby. i guess i just want to know where everything went wrong. i was doing so good in life until..."

i stop already knowing the answer to my question.

"until parker." noah finishes. "i'm done blaming everything on him. i ultimately made all of these choices." there was literally no one to blame but myself. "there was reasoning behind your bad choices though. mom and dad hit us with their divorce. you lost your best friend. we had to move to dads, there was just a lot at once. you were young."

i guess. i shrug and we sit in silence until i change the subject. "how's california?" i ask. "it's great. it's sunny all the time, the beaches are nice, the people are rude but college is cool. maybe i can sneak you into the dorms." i smile.

"i'm happy for you and proud of you, seriously." i say. i hope he's happy. "thanks bri. i'm proud of you, you're a little bit of a fuck up but you've grown and i can't wait to see little maddy grow."

i just laugh. i knew i was a fuck up. "thanks, seriously that helped." i say sarcastically. we laugh and there's that little moment of happiness. i'm happy now, i think. it helped to know that my brother was succeeding. "how are you and nat?" i ask.

"we're good. it's been hard considering i'm in cali and she's been in spain but it's all good. she got into san diego state so she's going next semester. she'll only be maybe two hours away."

cali huh?

"i'm happy for her too. riley said she's going to cal state long beach. you guys are all going to be together in california. i love that, you guys all make me proud." i smile messing with the steering wheel.

"one day you'll be with us, with your toes in the warm sand. with maddy. or maybe when you go to greece you'll love it so much you'll live out there." he laugh and i look at him.

"how did you know i wanted to go to greece?" i'm surprised he remembered. "maddy told me." i laugh. she did? "what did she say?"

"she said you guys were going. are you?" i shake my head. "she must've heard me and mason talking about it. i don't know. maybe." oh god, she thinks we're going. "well you should go. for her birthday." noah says making me think. greece for her birthday?

that would be a fun trip. "her birthday is in less than a month." i say. "looks like you have a lot to plan." noah gets out and goes back into the house.

i sit there thinking.

could i do this?

"greece. we could go to greece. i can finally go." i say to myself. i get excited.

i get out of my car and lock it. "wait, what's it like being in a plane?" i run after my brother.

☀︎☀︎☀︎

a/n: another short chapter! thank you for reading, i'll kiss you all if i could<3