forever my baby

𝐭𝐞𝐧

"stop i'm not going to dance with you." liam snatches his hands back. "why not? the music is perfect." i twirl around his living room, stumbling often. "there's no music on, it's just the commercials." he points to the tv. "oh, well turn on some." i dance my way over to him.

i'm having way too much fun.

"are you as drunk as i am?" i ask in front of him. "i'm probably drunker than you. i made my own drink." he smiles. "you stole my shot. so you had four-wait no you had three shots and a full glass of... juice." i grab his hands. "that wasn't juice... it was a sangria." he lets me drag him. "just shut up and dance with me. let loose for once."

he finally started to dance with me after ten minutes of persuading. two drunk people dancing around the living room. i hope i remember this.

"if you're a sloppy drunk and end up throwing up, you can find a new therapist." he makes me laugh. "if you don't loosen up and have fun, you can find a new friend."

"we're not friends, you're my client." he says making me upset. "ouch, that hurt. here i am telling you everything about my life and you don't even think we're friends?" i frown. "i must be your first therapist, don't worry you're my best client." liam says as the room starts spinning.

"yes you are and you're my only therapist but you're the best." 

i stumble around the living room until i find the couch. i let myself fall on it and liam sits right next to me. "you're something else." he says. i look up at him.

i sit up facing him. i look into his eyes. the room stops spinning. i feel weak and sleepy. "you're fun to hang with too. i've never met anyone as energetic as you are." liam also looks me in my eyes. this eye contact is making me nervous. i'm kind of intimidated by him.

"glad you think so." i say trying to focus. i cannot sit up straight so i lay down and look up at the ceiling. i no longer feel like dancing. i want to cry.

"can we talk about what happened?" he says. even drunk he's trying to help me. i take a deep breath in then i let it out. "is this the part where you start crying?" he asks making me laugh. "i guess so."

and i do start to cry. slowly. quietly. "i-i don't think mason loves me anymore." i sniff. "what makes you think that?" his voice is soft and comforting. "remember the fight we had the other day? it wasn't big but he was pretty mad at me. we made up but things are different. he's slipping away." i cry a little more. "come here, it's okay." liam stands up making me sit up. he grabs my hands and pulls me into a hug.

i cling on to him as i cry. god why am i so annoying.

"this is so ugly. i'm sorry." i wipe my face and force myself to stop crying. "you don't have to apologize, that's what i'm here for." he puts his hand on my shoulder. "to fix me?" i look at him. "no, to heal you. you're not broken, you don't need to be fixed. you need to heal."

i'm not broken? for so long i've felt broken. i feel like a burden to everyone, i feel like a problem. this feeling consumes me everyday.

"then heal me." my voice cracks. we sit back on the couch. "i'm trying to." liam just smiles. i lay back down. "just close your eyes. everything will be okay, i promise."

☀︎☀︎☀︎

i wake up to the sound of the tv. i sit up then i look around me trying to figure out where i was. the bar...then liams...i'm at liams!

"liam?" i say softly looking around. "good morning." his voice makes my head turn. he's in the kitchen. i stand up and wrap the blanket around me before walking over to him. "well you look fantastic." he leans over the counter. "thanks." i look around.

"are you making breakfast?" i say looking at the counter. "yes but i wanted to know what you wanted." he says looking at me. i look at the counter. eggs, sugar, pancake mix and more ingredients are all over the counter. "um... do you have cereal?" i ask.

he makes a face. "cereal? you want cereal?" he smiles a little. "honey nut cheerios... with bananas. please." i stand there. liam goes to his cabinet and takes out a bowl and then a spoon from a drawer. i watch him bring out honey nut cheerios and a banana from his fridge.

"today's your lucky day." he says opening the banana. as he chops it, i look outside. liam lived in a penthouse on the 10th floor. if you looked down your heart would drop. "this is a pretty view." i say looking at the people walking down below. "i'll take you all the way to the top. it's prettier." he says.

he had those glass windows that everyone could see everything through. i wonder if anyone saw us dancing last night. the sky was gloomy, it looked like it was going to rain.

"here is your boring breakfast." he says making me walk back to his kitchen area. "what are you going to eat?" i ask. "i was going to make pancakes but i think i'm going to make me an omelette." liam turns back around. i watch him as i start to eat.

"you live here all by yourself?" i ask. his place is big. i couldn't imagine living here on my own. "i do."

"don't you ever get lonely?" i eat my cereal. "not really. i keep myself busy most of the time."

my phone rings and i look around to find it. i go over to the couch and pick it up when i see it. it was lauryn. "hello?" i answer. she says she's at the door with maddy. "oh shit. i'm kind of in seattle right now. my dad should be home." i look over at liam.

she asks why i'm in seattle. "i-i'm doing something." he turns around to look at me and i look away. "i'll be back later okay? thank my dad for me! bye!" she tries to talk to me but i hang up. if she knew i was with liam she would never shut up about it.

"who was that? sounded like you didn't want to talk." he says and i go back to the kitchen. "it's my friend. the one that likes you." he stops then walks up to me. "are you telling your friends about me?"

i-

"she thinks you're hot. you should date her." i finish the last of my cereal. "why are you trying to play cupid?" liam takes out a plate and flips his omelette onto it. "i'm not." he comes around and sits next to me. "yes you are. she's probably not my type." he says and i scoff. "you and type! what is your type then?" i squint at him.

"i'm not talking to you about this." liam starts eating. "whatever. i don't want to leave here yet." i sigh going back to the window. "then don't. stay for a few more hours, i'll show you my favorite spots." liam says making me excited!

yes!

"can i take a shower?" i turn around. "yeah, come on." he gets up and walks down the hall. i follow him to his room. it's so nice... and neat. too neat. "are you sure this is your place? how is everything so nice and neat? you're a guy, guys are dirty." i look around being nosey. "not all guys apparently."

"are you a serial killer on the side?" i ask jokingly. "yes. here's the bathroom, a towel is right there and there's extra toothbrushes under the sink. i'll try to find some clothes for you, which should be easy because you dress like a boy." i gasp and hit him. "no i don't."

"okay, i'll leave you to it." he starts to leave. "wait i need underwear." i say making it awkward. "can't help you with that one."