forever my baby

𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

"do you want to talk about last night?" liams says as he walks next to me. what did i say last night? i try to think, i hope it wasn't embarrassing. "refresh my memory." we continue to walk.

"you said that mason doesn't love you anymore." i stop dead in my tracks. i said that? holy shit i'm never drinking again. "where are you taking me?" i ask walking again. "okay, i guess you don't. keep walking, down this alley." he points to an alley. a few people leave from that way and i look at liam.

"are you going to kill me?" i ask but continue to walk. "yes i am, in broad daylight, around hundreds of people." he goes in the alley first. i follow behind him and almost gag when i see where we are. "why would you take me here?" i stay close to him and away from the walls. "i think it's cool... and disgusting." we stop. "this is the famous gum wall that's everywhere on instagram." i realize where we're at.

there's literally gum everywhere. "this is so nasty." i hold myself. i don't want to touch anything. "yeah it is." we stand there looking at the wall. "can i take a picture of you?" he asks and i scrunch my nose up. "why here? out of all places."

he takes his phone out and points it at me. i stand there not sure what to do. "can you smile?" he says and i don't. i put up the peace sign for three seconds then i walk away leaving him alone. i leave the same way we came in.

"where to next?"

☀︎☀︎☀︎

"hi mamas baby!" i pick maddy up and spin her around in my arms. "mommy where were you?" she asks. "yeah where were you?" parkers voice startled me. "i had to do something in seattle." i kiss her nose. "seattle?" she repeats. "mhm, what did you do at lauryns house?" i ask walking over to the couch.

"we went to the park and ate mac and cheese with zoë!" her baby voice gets me every time. the way kids pronounce words was always funny and so adorable.

"she made you mac and cheese? that's your favorite!" i tickle her. parker sits next to us and i wave at him. i haven't seen him in a few days. "how was that test?" i ask remember he had to study and couldn't come over. "it was tough, i passed though." he starts to tickle her too. her laughs fill the room.

"that's good." i hear footsteps. i turn my head to see my dad but he looks different. he's actually dressed up. i gasp dramatically. "looks like someone has a date." i point at him. "are you and mom going out?" i ask winking at him. "yes but it's not like that." he says. i feel like a kid again, getting happy for them.

"are you guys getting back together?" i wink again. it's been years but i'm still hoping they'd get back together. "i don't know, are you and parker getting back together?" he grins.

"dad!" my eyes widen. oh my god i was just messing with him, why would he say that? "yes." parker says and i turn to him. "no," i glare at him. "just like taylor swift said, we are never, ever, ever getting back together." i look at parker. he shrugs.

"okay i'll be back in a few hours." my dad opens the door. "have fun."

maddy waves at him then lays her head on my chest. the house is quiet now. "was mason here earlier?" i ask. "no, but i've only been here for an hour." he says and i grab the remote and turns on a kids show. "did you mean what you said? about us never getting back together?" he catches my attention. i mean... is he serious?

does he think we will ever be together again?

"you have to let the thought of us being together again go. get over it." i say slightly joking so i didn't sound like a complete bitch. "sorry i don't want to. you know if i didn't leave, you would've still been madly in love with me and we would've been together." he says looking at the tv.

"yeah but you did leave and now i hate you a little bit. and we're broken up and i'm with mason now." i sort of grin. "you don't hate me that much and mason isn't right for you." he makes my eye widen.

"i actually hate you quite a lot and if mason isn't right for me then who is? you? you think you're right for me?" i snap back. "yeah i am right for you. i think you're forgetting how much we loved each other." he snaps back. "i was seventeen, i didn't know what love was." i accidentally slip out. "well you're twenty now, do you know what it is now?"

this passive-aggressive conversation continues.

"no i don't." i look at him. i wasn't sure where this conversation was going. i didn't know if we were joking or were we actually getting upset. "do you love me?" parker looks at me. why is he doing this? "why would you ask me that?" i want to look away but i can't. "do you love me?" he asks once more. "yes i do but not like that." my eyes are threatening him. i don't want him to continue. "well i love you like that and i always will."

"get over it." i say bluntly. "that's impossible." i shake my head. "you know what you need? you need a rebound. go find someone else. riley's still single." i really did not mean to say that. he just looks at me. "that's not funny."

i turn and look at the tv. "sorry." i say trying not to laugh. it really wasn't funny. "you're something else. i'm leaving." he sighs then gets up. so i've been told. "let the door hit you on the way out." i wasn't joking anymore. "you're rude." he comes back to give maddy a kiss. "bye." i wave and he leaves again. the door closes and i look at my baby.

"was i too mean to daddy?" i say to her. there's no answer. i move my head to see her eyes closed. i kiss her forehead. "well i'm glad you didn't hear that conversation."