Alpha's Journey [h.s.]

Chapter 18

            68 Days Without Calla

My heart feels like it just stopped at his words.

Calla?

What about her?

I grab Liam by his shoulders and shake him violently.

"What is wrong with Calla?" I ask him and he growls before breaking out of my hold.

"Relax mate, it's nothing bad." I sigh in relief.

"Well what is it?" He gives me a small smile before answering.

"She moved Harry." My eyes widen in shock.

"What the hell did you just say?" I ask in disbelief.

"Her fingers moved...She could wake up any day now." I laugh in joy but mostly shock as I didn't know how to process this information.

"Oh my god." I stumble back over to the couch.

"I think you need to sit down." Liam places a hand on my shoulder. Nodding slowly and sit down on the couch.

She moved.

My baby moved.

She could possibly wake up any day or week now. I'll been waiting for this day for almost two months, I'm going to be right by her side when the time comes.

"Harry? Talk to me man." Liam gives me a concerned look.

"I...I just can't believe it." My eyes blink rapidly as I am still trying to come to terms with the situation.

"Me too, I already told the others and they are happy as hell!" He exclaimed in joy.

"How did you find out?" I ask him.

"Doctor Macy gave me a call." I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Why didn't she call me?" He shrugs.

"I guess she didn't want to get your hopes up or something." I growl.

"She still should've called me! Everything that involves her goes through me first, understand?" He whimpers slightly.

"Yes Alpha but I know she didn't mean to offend you." I roll
my eyes.

"Sure." I stand up.

"Where are you going?" I grab my jacket and walk over to the door.

"I'm going to see my girl."

//

"What do you mean I can't fucking see her?" I ask the nurse at the receptionist desk.

"Alpha she is under observation and needs space in order to heal." I laugh bitterly.

"You do know who you're talking to right?" She gulps nervously.

"I'm the Alpha." I growl.

"You're going to let me see her or else I'll rip out your throat." I use my Alpha tone.

"Yes Alpha." She bows her head and I walk past her, heading to Calla's room.

When I right in front of her door I hesitate at first before I slowly turned the knob. The door opened slowly and I was met with her motionless body. Slowly walking over to the bed I sit down in the chair next to her. Taking her hand in mines.

"Hey baby." I smile.

I really didn't know what to say at this point. There was a slight chance that she would wake up and maybe things wouldn't go back to normal. For starters our baby was taken away from me due to my poor choices, and now I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

"I really have been screwing up lately and I know that if you were awake you would hate me and that's okay because...I hate me too." I sigh.

"I know you'd probably say that I'm wrong and I did everything that I could possibly do in a situation like this but you're wrong. I fucked up and chased everyone away, the boys, my mom...Amelia. I lost her because of my actions and now she's with my mom. I know that she's taking good care of her but I'm her father. That's my responsibility and I failed her." I feel tears start to prick my eyes.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so fucking sorry." I lay my head in her lap and cry hard.

Fuck my life.

"I didn’t know how painful it would be to keep my secrets. You asked me to save the pack, to right the wrong. I will, I swear, but to do that, I can’t be the Harry that everyone wants me to be, which means that sometimes...To honor your wishes, I need to dishonor your memory." I whisper, wiping my tears.

I have to betray her in order to do what's right.

I have to become a different person.

For her.

"I really came to see you because I just wanted one night to remind me of what I'm fighting for." I tell her.

"I wish I could change your mind about staying here asleep but I know I can’t. Just like I know that leaving you here is going to destroy me. I don’t regret a single moment. And you shouldn’t either. You have done so much." I kiss her knuckles.

"You have done so much for me that's it's breaking my heart to see you like this...All because of me." I say quietly.

"Being a Alpha means choosing other people’s safety over your own, including family. That’s why I hid my work from you, to protect you from having to make difficult decisions like this. Getting you into all that trouble with Zayn is and will always be one of my deepest regrets and I'm sorry."

I did this to her.

I caused her all this pain.

Her mate did this to her.

"I know you can't hear me but it would be really nice to hear your voice, just to know that I haven't gone completely insane." I laugh slightly.

Silence.

Nodding I sit up and look down at her sleeping figure.

She looks so peaceful.

I wish I had that peace.

"My mom once told me that all the starlight we see had so far to travel that they might not exist anymore. Eventually, they all fade to black. Erased. That’s where I wanna be." I bite my lip trying to contain another outburst of emotion.

"I just want to be erased forever."

I stand up from the chair.

"You have saved so many people’s lives and you have changed so many for the better, including mine. Knowing you has changed my life. You’ve opened up my heart in a way I didn’t even know was possible. I love you." I lean down and place a kiss on her cheek.

Walking over to the door I place my hand on the knob but before I turned it I looked back at her.

"Thank you for letting me be apart of your story, even if it was only for a little while."

//

✨

Do you think Calla will wake up?

Or will Harry finally break?

Make sure to comment your thoughts and opinions! 💫