Chasing My Sun (Larry Stylinson)

Can I Do This?

Harrys POV

After that night, Harry had felt like a puzzle piece that couldn't quite find where he belonged. Him and Louis had both decided that maybe they had been moving too quickly after all, and after some difficulty they decided to try and be friends more than anything else.

Louis' decision primarily.

**
"Maybe.." Louis had started. "Maybe, we shouldn't do this. This shit is too intense. Maybe we fucked up"

"No, we didn't." Harry pleaded. He felt his heart dropping into his stomach that was filled with love sick butterflies.

"We couldn't have. Don't you feel like maybe it's meant to be this way? No one said it was going to be easy, right?" Harry continued.

Harry felt his heart racing at a million miles a minute as he started back at Louis. He ached thinking of not being together, and hearing the words come out of his mouth was worse than he could've imagined.

"But isn't it suppose to be easy Harry?" Louis questioned, his voice becoming smaller and smaller with every shallow breath. Harry desperately wanted to grab onto him and push the walls he was forming away. He wanted to claw at them until they never came back.

"No! No Louis! It's suppose to be worth it. That doesn't mean easy. Is it not worth it?" Harry asked. He knew that it was more than worth it for him, and he couldn't even imagine Louis not feeling the same.

"I don't know if it is right now!"

Harry stumbled over himself to stand in front of Louis closely, his brain couldnt quite keep up with his itch to just be next to him. The sentence made him want to grasp onto anything he could, like he was about to fall overboard on the ship. He wished more than anything he could see inside Louis' mind.

"What do you mean?" He asked Louis. "What happened over the last two days from us making out on that couch to you coiling away at my touch? What happened?"

Harry felt his heart breaking in his hands. He felt his stomach plummet down to the floor with his throat tightening up and a feeling of sea sickness accompanying it all. He wanted to crawl into his bed and hide until the morning.

"I just think we're too involved for our own good. It can't be right like this." Louis said backing away as Harry reached out to grab his face. He turned away from him, arms crossed over his chest, and eyes avoidant. Harry had always expected him to be a bit more intimidating if they ever argued, but now he only saw him almost like a scared child.

"It has to be like this." Harry started. "You've literally intoxicated me Louis, I can't even think of anything else. Please. You can't do this. I don't know why but I can seem to feel complete without you anymore-"

"That's the problem. I don't like that you can't even think without me. You have be your own person! I can't take care of you!" Louis exclaimed. Harry didn't know it then, but Louis had just spent the entire weekend looking after the people he loved, and he had continued to neglect his own feelings for those people. He didn't want Harry to become like that, and especially not with him. He couldn't do that to someone, and something in him told him that he would do exactly that. He liked Harry too much. Trusted him too much. He would lean on him too much.

And then Harry would become a shell of himself, just like how Louis felt right now.

"What's so wrong about that?" Harry interrupted his thoughts. "What's so wrong with me saying I need you? So what? I like you! I do! You can't do this."