Peter Parker and Avengers One Shots

Stuck On Love~

Hazelfraser25 ask for stucky and u shall receive, just not the kind u want bc im angsty rn after everything in the dream smp sry its just how it be :) ill try some fluff or smthg later ig

..au where steve didn't bother to show his face after abandoning his bestie <3 haha ly stevie but get a grip

TW TW TW TW TW

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Love is a lot of things, and humans have the tendency to romanticize it. They claim that love is the best thing that will happen to you, that it saves you, that everything that you've gone through in life all becomes worth it because of the one person that you look to for comfort.

Love is a lot of things. It's got sides to it, levels to it, different types of love for different relationships. It's complex, not something that a nine hour day in school could explain like all the rest of the knowledge that society attempts to educate about.

Love is a lot of things, it can be the feeling of the sun on your face after days of rain, it can be that feeling of pride after succeeding in something that everyone said you wouldn't, but for James Buchanan Barnes, love was a boat in the midst of a storm, helpless and at the mercy of whatever being didn't dare to show it's face. 

For Bucky, a man out of his time and out of his mind with adoration, love was a battle that deep down he knew he'd never win. 

He'd spent all of his life fighting and winning and killing- he supposed it was only fair that it was how he was going down, but he thought that it'd be a physical fight, not one against himself.

He figured it'd be a fight with blood and sweat, not one of mind and soul. 

He figured it'd be a fight with magazines and triggers, not one of razors and quiet tears after the others had gone to sleep.

But, regardless of everything that Bucky had planned, everything that he took for granted as the end of his life, it all went wrong.

He supposed that deep down, in the depths of himself that he never wanted to acknowledge, he always figured it would stray from the plan. He knew it from the start, really, when he first laid eyes on the scrawny blond picking fights in alleyways.

He knew it, really, when his heart fluttered and his brain did the little italicized 'oh'.

Bucky always figured that the war was for the best really, a chance for himself to get a grip, a way for him to find an identity in something other than hidden feelings.

It got worse when Captain America showed up in all his muscly glory. It was even worse when Bucky had to share a tent with him. 

So, for all intents and purposes, Bucky supposed that it was for the best when he fell off that train, wind through his hair and relief through his body.

But then again, life never liked Bucky, and kept him alive for no reason other than to hurt him.

He'd never forgive himself for what he'd done, but when he opened his eyes and found himself staring into blue ones that would only ever consider him a friend, he couldn't stop the deep pang inside his chest.

Love was a lot of things, and Bucky finally figured he wouldn't have to face it anymore when he felt himself turning to dust.

But, as always, life had other plans, and they all revolved around torturing the brown-haired man that wanted nothing more than to never wake up in the morning. 

So when he found himself back in the Wakandan forest, dirt beneath his hands and buried underneath his fingernails, he cried. He cried because he didn't want this, he only wanted to fade away from the memory of everyone who wronged him and everyone he had wronged. 

He didn't care about the looks he had gotten from Shuri when he walked up to her with tear-stained cheeks, asking for a hair tie. He only cared that he'd have to face his best friend again, under the ruse of utter joy at being reunited.

He didn't even get a smile, which was justified because of the landscape that was the battlefield, but it stung a little.

Bucky wasn't even given the time of day until a few hours after the fight, and it was Sam who went and embraced him, and it felt nice, like a hug from a friend should.

When he finally got a hug from the only person that really mattered, it was tense, but Bucky melted into it because he needed it more than he needed his dignity, which was a common occurrence. 

He needed love more than a lot of things, but when did he ever get what he needed? All he ever got was pain and heartbreak.

Exhibit A?

Plaster on a fake smile like every other day, like every other time he woke up to face the morning, weary of it all.

Bucky went through his day, and left the house to send him off to return the stones. He knew something was up, because after all, they had grown up together, they fought together, the only thing that they didn't have together was the one thing that Bucky wanted most.

Love.

But no, James Buchanan Barnes was destined to lead a life of misery, forever fated to wake up lonely. His life was a ballad to the gods of death and destruction, a song used to seduce the three fates. 

And, through it all, with a heavy heart, Bucky smiled and kept up the image of happiness, only to let it fall once the backs had turned, like they always did eventually. 

And through it all, Bucky looked into the horizon at an empty bench, conflicted feelings of peace and sadness fighting in his body. 

And, through it all, Bucky figured that though he might try to not succumb to it, his love for Steve would be the death of him.

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hahaha peace if you like the elaborate language check out my poetry haha jk /j unless?