chemical

42.

We watched a movie together until we heard the doorbell ring. I turned the TV off while my mom went to open the door.

Not even a second after she had opend the door i heard her giggle. I got curious so i walked to the door.

My mom gave Calum a look that i hadn't seen her do in a very long time. She liked Calum more than a friend.

I smirked at her when she closed the door behind Calum.

He thanked my mom and entered the livingroom to take a seat.

"What was that for look?" I whispered to my mom.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." She said in denial.

I rolled my eyes and followed her into the livingroom. "Please don't say anything about my hair. I still have no idea how to feel about it." I said to Calum as i sat down on the couch.

He nodded understandably. "How are feeling?"

By the look on his face i could tell that he already knew the real answer. He looked concerned by my appearance, i was now bald and looked extremely pale. I had also lost a lot of weight because i has stopped eating a few days ago. Not because it wanted to but because i couldn't keep it down anymore.

I waited for my mom to leave the room to answer his question.

"I feel like I'm slowly getting worse." I admited to him.

"So the test weren't lying but you were?" He aksed. He already knew the answer but he wanted me to say it outloud.

I nodded. "I wanted to spent Christmas with my mom so i pretended that i felt better than i actually was. I'm sorry, i know it a something that i shouldn't have done."

"It's okay, i just hope that your not hurting yourself to much with this behaviour."

I already was. My body was constantly telling to stop and to slow down but i ignored it every single time.

This conversation had created an awkward atmosphere in the room. My mom immediately sensed this was she came back.

"Why don't we go outside for a walk? Some fresh air might do as all good." She said to change the mood.

"Sounds splendid." Calum said.

I definitely didn't want to go outside. The chance of me shutting down were extremely high. I could barely find the energy to talk.

"Sounds good to me but only if i can find a hat." I said with a fake smile. My head was extremely cold now that nothing covered it.

As i was putting my shoes on i had to cough. But it wasn't a normal cough, a small bit of blood appeared in my hand. I immediately whiped it away and hoped that no one had seen it. Now was not the time to be sick.

Mabel

I handed Kate one of my hats after she had finished tying her shoes. She seemed very grateful for it.

"Are we ready?" I aksed the both of them before i opened the door.

The nodded and walked out of my apartment.

I had snowed earlier which was absolutely perfect. I immediately made a snowball and trew it at Calum. He gave me and angry face and trew one back.

Kate laughed at that. Calum and i continued out little fight. We both knew that Kate didn't have enough to join us but she still looked like she had a fun time.

I tried to ran after but i slipped. We all laughed at that. Calum offered me his band and helped me up. When he did that there was a moment of silence. We looked each other in the eyes and for a moment i could see his eyes light up.

Just when we were about to kiss something hit my head. Kate had trown a snowball. I stuck my tong out and Calum did the same.

For second she gave us the brightest smile. She truly looked happy. Unfortunately the moment didn't last that long. Her smile faded as she took a few steps back. Calum reacted faster then me and was able  to catch her before she fell.

"Is she alright?" I aksed panicked.

"Call 911."

This freaked me out even more, he wouldn't have said that unless something was wrong.

Calum and i were both allowed in the ambulance. I was in absolutely shocked and looked speechless at the both of them. Kate was still unconscious and looked absolutely horrible. The only thing that calmed me a bit was her chest going up and down.

Once we arrived at the hospital Calum told me to wait in the waiting area. I didn't want to listen to him but he said in a way i couldn't argue with.

I was absolutely terrified. Kate obviously looked very sick but i had no idea that it was exactly that bad. She was finally in my life, i couldn't lose her now.

I was paching back and forth in the waiting when Ashton came to keep me company.

"How is she?" I asked after i had greeted him.

"Let's sit down for a moment." He said calmy.

It annoyed me that he was acting to calm when i could barely sit still.

"You're frighting me with your calmness." I spoke to him.

He reached for my hand but i pulled back. "Get on with it already. How is Kate?"

"I'm afraid that her condition has worsened to a point of no recovery."

"That's not possible." I mumbled in shock.

"It's not rare to happen with her type of cancer. It suddenly spread faster and has reached mutiple organs. "

"How long does she have?"

He fell silent for a moment. It was the one question doctors usually refused to answer.

"Please just give me a number. I need to know." I begged to him.

"She doesn't have much time left. A few weeks max."

I fell back in chair. This couldn't be happening. Not even a few hours ago she wa laughing in my livingroom.

Ashton put his hand on my shoulder. "I understand how hard this must be for you. Don't be scared to talk about what's going on in your head right now."

I ignored him, i didn't need to hear that type of bullshit right now.

"I want to see her." I said to him as i stood up.

He nodded. "I'll take you to her but know that's she's currently sleeping."

Once in arrived at her room i carefully entered. Ashton didn't follow me into the room which i was grateful for.

Calum was sitting next to Kate's bed with his head buried in his arms. I tiptoed to him and layed my hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at my with his red, puffy eyes. "I'm so sorry for not seeing this sooner."

I felt the exact same as Calum right now but i needed to put those feelings away the help him. "You did everything you could. It's not fault that this has happened."

"I hard to believe that." He said as he whiped his tears away.

"What's going to happen to her now?"

"She needs to stay here so that we can monitor her." He said as he looked at her.

"No."Kate suddenly mumbled.

Both of looked shocked at her. We both thought that she was in a deep sleep, like she should've been.