"You what my heart desires"
Your soulmate will be the stranger you recognize.
People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back...
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August 14, 2020 | Harlem, New York 12:19 PM
It been like a week since the EP release party. I still hadn't seen or spoke to Korion in person. She text me back after a couple days of blowing her shit up but she still wasn't hearing a nigga at all. I missed her ass though, being away from her for so long made me realize how deep in this shit I am.
I was used to females being mad at me but this time I actually gave a fuck and that shit was eating me up. This week gave me a lot of time to think though, at first I was tight she wasn't talking to me. I'm not used to having to plead my case to a soul, I just do me. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't want to hear what I had to say being that we was fucking with each other so heavy. I'm trying not to invalidate her feelings though, I kept thinking how about how this shit make her feel inside despite if these hoes telling the truth or not. She was right, how could she work on herself or even began to trust me with all this shit going on.
Then I had to understand the part I played in all of this. I had to work that much harder so that my past wouldn't fuck this up for me. I had to accept the facts. I shouldna even went to Skye crib in the first place, I damn sure shouldn't have trusted that she wouldn't try something cause she was always up to some shit. I can't change the past though, only thing I can do is fix whatever problem I created.
I know it's hard for Kori to trust me with all these bitches from my past trying to tear us down. As a man I should've cut all that shit off knowing it would get messy. In my mind I was only fucking them hoes so I didn't owe them shit. Was I supposed to hit them up and tell them I'm not interested in fuckin no more? I doubt it would've turned out any different.
Me and Kori different but we a lot alike too, we both been through a lot that make us look at life differently, of course we both have issues with trust but what i'm learning is that we just handle it differently. I might not have hella walls and guards built to protect myself from being hurt but It's clear I got a problem holding onto my past. Kori not the type of girl I can have a foot in both worlds with, I gotta get my shit all the way together.
I'm not gone hold you, this was new to me. Korion wasn't the type to show that her feelings was hurt, she expressed most of her emotions through anger. I noticed it was easier for her to tell somebody they had her fucked up than it was to let them know they did some shit to hurt her feelings. That's what made me feel the most guilty, knowing that even though she was mad and being cold towards me, I guess inside she was actually was hurt.
I be thinking about how I'd feel if some nigga sent me a picture of Kori sleep in his bed, whether it was the truth or not my initial reaction wouldn't be good. Shit the only outcome I kept coming up with was me ending up in jail. My head was all over the place, It's like once I got time to myself without Korion and Kairi around all I could think about was stress and what I had to fix.
