Kokichi Oma x Reader ONESHOTS (COMPLETED)

I Have to Look Perfect {698K Reads Special}

Jesus fuck- almost 700K reads?! I really hate this book and writing oneshots for it cuz I have something personal against Kokichi to be honest and I think it's super overrated but at the same time I'm really happy that it's super popular.

Like... this is just 302K reads away from A MILLION!!! THIS IS 68% OF THE WAY TO A MILLION READS-

I can't process this-

Uhhh let's just ★get into the oneshot!★

~~~

"Hmmm... what should I wear on my date with cute little (Y/N)?" I wondered aloud as I looked through my extremely messy closet. Clothes were mostly just piled and wadded up in really awkward piles, but I did have some 'formal' attire that I properly hung so they wouldn't get wrinkles. A supreme leader had to be able to look sharp for important business, after all! Well, not like my date was important...

"Nuh-uh! Not the tux, that's WAY too good for her!" I huffed, setting it aside so I would know that I'd already chosen not to wear it, "Um... ew, this looks like something Kaito would wear. Why do I have clothes for cowards?"

I set aside the outfit in question, which was a vest over a white button-up. It was something I could also see Shuichi wearing if he was some kind of butler, but I paid no attention to that thought at this moment; I was much more concerned with finding an outfit.

"No way am I gonna wear this!" I hissed, my face contorting into disgust as I wondered when and why this outfit had made its way into my wardrobe. It was probably Shuichi's dream formal attire since it basically turned his coat into a blazer. I wasn't emo like him~!

"Ughh, I'm already bored of thissss!! I've only gone through three outfits, seriously?!" I pouted, already wishing I could take a break from trying to find a good outfit but knowing that I couldn't. If I did, I could end up being late for my date!

~~~

"I've gone through every single one of my outfits and I still can't find anything good for this stupid date! Uuugh, why'd I have to choose a fancy restaurant?! I don't even like fancy..." I groaned, feeling more and more stupid for focusing too much on something (Y/N) would like. It was my date too, I wanted to have fun!

"Okay, how many outfits do I have? I'll just choose one with a random number picker thing!" I declared, counting the amount of formal outfits I had before ascertaining that I had exactly 16. I used a little app Google made to pick a random number, and it chose the number 2.

"Number two is... the coward vest?!"

~~~

I grumbled as I adjusted the magenta vest in the mirror, feeling stupid and gross in it but it was what the random number generator had chosen for me! Sighing, I reminded myself to act natural.

"It'll be fine, it's just a fancy dinner date!" I groaned, facepalming internally at how much of a mistake this was. I looked at the clock only to see that it was almost time for my date, so I quickly grabbed my laptop and headed towards the kitchen. I sat my laptop on the table at a bit of a distance from me and opened Discord, getting on my DMs with (Y/N). Well, at least one good thing about quarantine was if the date went bad I could leave the video chat, go offline and say my Wi-Fi crashed at the worst time.

Before I started talking, I made sure my table was set properly. I hadn't done the cooking myself- that was why my house wasn't currently on fire. I'd hired a cook to cook a fancy dinner for me, and they'd definitely done a good job. Paying them a lot was worth it, hopefully... guess I'd find out when I actually ate the food. Grabbing a bottle of wine from my fridge and a wine glass, I poured myself a glass of wine and then finally told (Y/N) I was ready to start the virtual date.

~~~

"Oopsie poopsie, I'm gonna move my computer real quick!" I giggled. After (Y/N) and I had finished dinner we'd both moved to our living rooms, and the laptop was starting to get kind of hot in my lap so I wanted to move it onto the coffee table.

When I grabbed the laptop, for some reason it was way hotter than I'd previously thought and I dropped my laptop at the shock from how hot it was, and (Y/N) saw the whole thing. However, the part I was more embarrassed about was... I'd only dressed formally on top. I was only wearing my most embarrassing pair of boxers to cover my legs and now (Y/N) could see it!!

"Ah!!!" I accidentally let out a squeal, quickly retrieving my laptop and shutting off the camera. I could hear (Y/N) roaring with laughter at my misfortune, but I was so embarrassed that I was actually blushing. An evil supreme leader, BLUSHING!!!

"Hahahaha! What the hell was that pattern on those boxers, anyways? Did you get them from a McDonald's happy meal?" (Y/N) teased, only making me even more embarrassed.

"Shut up, (Y/N)! I bet you're not wearing pants either!" I shot back weakly, not having anything else to say.

"No, cuz I'm wearing a dress and leggings. Well... I guess leggings are pants..." (Y/N) shrugged after a few seconds of trailing off, "Anyways, you're the only one who's just in their underwear pretending to be dressed formally~"

I groaned, and since my camera was still turned off (Y/N) only heard a loud thud, making her immediately scared, "Kokichi, what the hell was that sound?!"

"Ow..." I mumbled, feeling pain swamp my head, especially where I'd just hit it against my coffee table. I forced myself to lift my head and laugh despite it hurting, "Nishishi~! Is cute little (Y/N) worried about me? I just squashed a bug on my table!"

"...Aaaaand you squishing a bug required you to fucking crash something into your table? That almost sounded like a gunshot!" (Y/N) whined. Wow, had me crashing my head into my table sounded like that on her end?

"That's called a shitty laptop mic and the gain set too high," I giggled. I technically wasn't lying, since for me who experienced it in person it was nowhere near the sound or volume of a gunshot.

~~~

"Uh-ohh~! I gotta leave the call, my battery's low and I dunno where the charger is!" I lied, staring at my computer that was currently plugged into the charger.

"Didn't you say you plugged your computer in ea-" (Y/N)'s audio was cut off by me abruptly leaving the call, and I quickly set my online status from 'do not disturb' to 'offline.' Didn't matter if she saw through my lie to escape since she couldn't stop me~!

"I'm never doing another Discord date..." I sighed, feeling mentally exhausted from the date. How the hell had I gone on dates with (Y/N) in person before quarantine started? Guess now I relied on Discord to hide too much...

~~~

{Completely random bonus scene}

"Eww, don't get your virus germs on me! Get your mask off your neck and cover your mouth AND nose!"

The girl simply moved the mask to her chin.

"A-HEM, HEY KAREN!!! Did you know that leaving your mask around your chin like that is just as worthless as your fucking existence and you're gonna kill the entire world? PUT YOUR MASK ON, KAREN~!! HEY KAREN!! PUT ON YOUR MASK!!! KARENNNN~!! MASK UP, MASK UP, MASK UP!!"

~~~
Word count: 1303