Our Heavy Burdens(Naruto Fanfic Gaara Love Story)[Slow Update]

Chapter 29: Fear of Rejection

A/N the image above is Nariko's appearance when she goes to Suna.

A week after recovering from my concussion, I went to spend a week with the Akatsuki. I brought Shizuka with me so that they can meet her, and I invited Zabuza and Haku as well. Luckily, the Mizukage gave them time off so they can come visit us. Otōsan and Okāsan are thrilled to meet Shizuka, and Hidan, Zetsu and Deidara have been warned multiple times about being careful around her. Kisame and Zabuza are a bit happy to be able to meet her, but they seemed to want to do their own thing than say hello to a baby. More specifically, they want to spar with each other for old times sake. Haku is very interested in meeting Shizuka. He's curious because he's never been around a baby before. They all know that she's blind, deaf and mute to the living because of her kekkei genkai. Otōsan and I are able to communicate with her with our Rinnegan. Thankfully, Inoichi and I managed to teach her how to control the range of her telepathy, as well as her being able to read the thoughts of others to know who they are and what they're trying to say. We also worked on her telekinesis, although it was limited because she feared of hurting someone again. We mostly worked on her controlling her telekinesis instead of it being controlled by her emotions, which will help prevent further damage.
Before we left Konoha, a message from Suna was delivered to me. It was an invitation to Gaara's ceremony of becoming Kazekage. The date was set for the last Tuesday of the month (a/n I'm making this up). I felt my stomach drop, not because I was nervous to see him again so soon, but because I still didn't know how to tell him that I have a daughter. I wasn't even sure why I felt so freaked out like this. Was it just a hormone thing that girls go through? I'll have to ask Okāsan when I see her.
Since I was still unsure about using my paths, I decided to just send a clone to the ceremony. I'm sure Gaara won't mind about that. In the meantime, Otōsan and I are trying to convince Shizuka to use her telekinesis so we can train her more. It took a few days, but she finally agreed to practice her abilities. A week after that, the ceremony only being one day away, and I finally spoke to Okāsan about my feelings of the occasion. She explained to me that my feelings of fear and anxiety about telling the truth were because of my feelings for him, and that I was afraid that he'd get mad and reject me for it. She reassured me that if he truly loved me as much as I loved him, that he won't react that way. I tried to deny the feelings at first, but after she made me think about all my feelings that I get when I'm near him or think about him, I had no choice but to accept the fact that I did love Gaara. My stomach flutters and I blush furiously whenever I have a wonderful time with him or when I think about what we could do together the next time we see each other. I get nervous and self-conscious of myself, worried that I might make a fool of myself in front of him if I'm not careful and considerate about what I do. I get jealous at the thought of or actually seeing him with other girls that aren't me or Temari. I get protective of him when he's in danger from himself or others, and feel so happy and grateful when he does the same for me. I can't help but feel the urge to be intimate with him when I pay close attention to his appearance, and daydream about what he may look like without his clothes, much to Kurama's annoyance, especially when I get a nosebleed from it.
Despite my nerves, I sent a clone to the ceremony, determined to watch Gaara be appointed Kazekage and tell him about my adoptive daughter.
~Nariko clone pov~
I arrived at the ceremony site, wearing a white kimono with red swirls on it, a red Namikaze crest on my back between my shoulder blades, and the obi being white while the obiagé and obijimé are red. With it, I wore white tabi and white fabric covered zōri with a red hanao. My hair is in a bun with my bangs loose, and a white hair stick decorated with dangling red lightning bolt ornaments was pinned in my hair. My makeup was extremely light, only having lipstick and mascara on since I would probably sweat off the makeup if I wore any more.
As ambassador for Konoha, I was obligated to stand in the front of the crowd with the other foreign dignitaries. I made sure not to let any unwanted attention bother me, standing tall and proud, for Konoha, the people I love and cherish, as well as myself. Kankuro and Temari stood at the side of the stage with most of the elders, the eldest and 'wisest' of them standing in front to present Gaara to Suna's citizens. The ceremony soon began, the elder saying a speech about the importance of a Kazekage and their duties, as well as mentioning the previous Kazekages. He then stated that the council, along with the citizens of Suna, have decided to choose Gaara as their new Kazekage. Gaara took the cue to walk forward and face his people and visitors, glancing around the crowd as the elder said a blessing of good fortune during his service. Myself and the crowd repeated the blessing, and I grinned at Gaara as his eyes widened when he spotted me. We all cheered for him, but soon quieted down so he could make a speech about his plans and hopes for the future. Everyone returned to cheering for him, and I gazed at him with love, pride, and joy as he looked back at me with the same expression.
Eventually, the ceremony ended with almost everyone in the crowd going to congratulate Gaara for his new position. Temari and Kankuro did their best to limit the number of people greeting him, but Gaara didn't seem to mind. Soon, the sun began to set, and Gaara spotted me again some distance away from the crowd and himself. Temari and Kankuro also saw me before grinning mischievously and nudging Gaara towards me, most likely teasing him about how close we were, though I unfortunately couldn't hear their exact words. With the way Gaara blushed, however, I'm sure their comments were embarrassing enough. He stepped up to me, and we both took a few seconds to look at each other's appearance. As always, he looked as handsome as ever, though now wearing a red cloak with black pants, his hips, thighs and calves having grey straps on them, and a one shoulder strap vest the same color on his torso. His hair was also longer and more spiky compared to its previously short and fluffy style, and he was taller than before. Gaara opened his mouth, then closed it as he fidgeted and his blush deepened before finally speaking. "You look beautiful today, Nariko." He told me, and his eyes widened a bit. "N-not that you don't look beautiful the rest of the time, you always look beautiful!" He added hastily before pausing and sighing, covering a part of his red and embarrassed face with a hand. In the distance, I can see his older siblings trying to hold in their laughter at their brother's struggle, and before long Baki dragged them away after he saw them watching us. I dismissed Gaara's siblings and their reactions, simply smiling and blushing at his compliments. "Sorry, just ignore my outburst, please." Gaara murmured, still hiding himself a bit from me and refusing to look at me. I giggled before reaching to take the hand on his face and using my other hand to turn his head to look at me. "It's alright, Gaara, I'm grateful you think that way. You look handsome today as well, though you always do look handsome to me." I replied, returning his compliment. Gaara's blush cooled a bit as he smiled at me, and he adjusted our hands so we were properly holding each other's as I dropped my other hand from his face.
We then began to stroll around the village, talking about what each of us have been doing during our separation while trying to ignore the quiet voices of the villagers and their assumptions of our relationship. He told me about the missions he went on, as well as his time as a sensei and training to become Kazekage. He also mentioned the things Temari and Kankuro did, often leading to us laughing about their antics. In exchange, I told him about the Akatsuki, their former plans and my involvement with them, as well as how I had them change their plans and become allies with Konoha. I then told him about how I reunited Sasuke with his brother and cousin after he tried running off to Orochimaru, and having Orochimaru become allies with the Konoha along with training Sasuke in exchange for me doing missions for him every once in a while. Gaara was surprised about the information, and I confirmed his wondering if my involvement with the Akatsuki was why I never returned to Suna growing up.
When he then asked me about what missions I had done for Orochimaru, I paused. The fear and nerves that I had before were forgotten during the ceremony, but returned when the topic of the mission where I met Shizuka came up. Gaara noticed my hesitation, and how I began to shy away from him. He asked me if the information was classified, and when I said no, he asked what was wrong. I wouldn't respond, and Gaara practically pleaded for me to tell him what the matter was. I couldn't look at him, in fear of his reaction as I finally stammered, "My first mission, I-I had to eliminate a clan. I completed it of course, but something happened in the middle of it..." I kept holding back on the truth, until I finally blurted it out. "Gaara, I have a daughter." I had my eyes shut for a few more seconds before daring to look at him. He looked shocked and the outburst and revelation, and when I saw his expression shift to confusion, uncertainty, and a bit of hurt, I backed away from him. "Nariko-" I couldn't be near him anymore, believing my fears were right, and I released the jutsu, dispersing into a cloud of smoke and sending my memories to the original Nariko.
~Nariko's pov, at Amekagure~
I was outside with Okāsan and Shizuka, letting Shizuka enjoy the rain while Okāsan had an umbrella ready in case we didn't want to get poured on anymore. As I smiled at the sound of Shizuka giggling as she enjoyed the feel of the rain on her skin, the memories of my clone flowed into my mind. The last memory of Gaara caused my smile to falter, before it fell completely. My eyes became shadowed by my hair, and I turned with Shizuka in my arms before hiding my face in Okāsan's shoulder. She asked me what was wrong, and I shook my head as my body trembled from me trying to suppress my feelings. I activated my Rinnegan, using Ningen to show Okāsan the memories that I received from my clone. Please don't tell anyone. I pleaded in her mind, and she nodded before hugging me and trying to comfort me as we stood in the rain.

A/N damn this chapter is long. Usually I keep it at 1400 words at most, but sometimes I unintentionally go past it. Including this note, I'm already past 2000 words in this chapter lol. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it, and I'm gonna try to figure out what to put for the next chapter.