t w e n t y - e i g h t

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I laugh at the way he rushes to the washroom after the fourth SRK movie of the night..

He comes back and with hope in his eyes, asks me if I'm now tired of the melodrama.

I shake my head and enjoy the whining while he searches for another movie.

I take the remote and play Veer Zaara.

He sleeps before we are even 10 minutes in it. I don't turn off the TV, instead I snuggle closer to him, and lean behind more. I keep watching the movie until I fall asleep.


He straightens my hair as I dab my eyes with a tissue paper.

"Okay, you heard all of my childhood, your turn."

"There's nothing much." I say, trying to push the focus out of my tears. My wobbly lips make it hard for even me to understand what I just said.

"I want to hear that nothing much," he says as he steps away and looks at my hair.

I turn and move it to my sides, then push it back, "Do one last round."

Without complaining, he starts again from the left.

"So? Wait, how do you cheat on a maths exam—? That means you didn't know the formulas but you knew how to use them."

"Cheating doesn't only mean making cheats. I used to send pictures of my."

It's not until he breaks the silence that I remember I was talking and stopped midway. "Is that fine?"

I turn to the left to look at my hair in the mirror but all I see are my chubby cheeks.

All this chewing and my jaw still looks disgusting.

He called me outside for dinner half an hour ago but I ignored him and started brushing my hair when he came to check on me.

I don't know why he wants this.

I've eaten properly since the day we last fought— which means at least seven hundred calories per six days, and it takes me some time to calculate but as soon as the big number appears in my mind my heart halts and I feel like killing myself right away.

I suddenly look even worse and I feel like throwing everything on that mirror but that won't change anything.

The damage is done.

"Do not think about it," he says pressing a button of my soul,

"Do not think about what!" my anger scurries out, "About-"

No, no, don't.

You're not going to do that again.

It's not- it, it. Let i- fuck it.

"I'm sorry, I'm coming. Give me some time please."

I don't even look up at him. He kisses the crown of my head, I smile and he leaves.

I didn't even realise how these six days flew by so fast.

I'm lying to myself. I probably did it on purpose. I was getting to eat and I obviously wouldn't stop him from forcing me because I love fats. I love being fat and annoying.

The word itself is disgusting. I am becoming disgusting.

I wipe my tears and go outside. Azaan's eyes sparkle as if he was not expecting this.

Uh, obviously Sawera? He was expecting you because he knows the disgusting you but he was expecting to have to go and convince the attention beggar in you.

Zehnaseeb ✓Where stories live. Discover now