t h i r t y - f o u r

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- A Z A A N -

"Sawera, jaanum, get up. It's okay if you don't want to go to work, but wake up for breakfast? Please?" I coo while tying my tie.

She lifts her head, pushing herself back using her shoulders, and looks at me through the mirror, "Of course it is okay if I don't go to work, you have cameras all around the house, it doesn't matter if I'm not with you."

"That reminds me, you better take your phone with you when you go out."

She groans and falls back, muttering words only she can understand.

I take my wrist watch and rub the crown of her head before leaving with my coat.

I get to the office and get some urgent work quickly done. Apart of that, no job gets settled.

Anytime I try to focus on something, my mind goes back to Sawera.

Never, after having heard her disordered thoughts did I ever imagine getting my Sawera back. It seemed nearly impossible. I thought everything was over.

These days she's doing so much better, it feels like nothing ever went wrong. I see the Sawera from twelve months ago in her eyes.

The other day we sat down on the floor right next to the bed and read a book together.

The Power of Habit is now one of my favorite books, and that's not because of the argument.

I didn't even realize when I closed all work tabs and played her on the screen.

She's still sleeping,

I pick my phone,

"Azaan you scared the fuck out of me, what's this ringtone and when did you get the landline fixed?"

"Yea, I saw you jump out of bed. It was funny."

"Of course it was. That's all the funny you get when you have that sick sense of humor."

I smile at that.

"Ok, what?" She asks,


"What did you call for?"

"I miss you."

There's a moment of silence before she speaks, "No, you only miss work," seconds of silence later, she asks, "Wait, really?"

And I nod, stupid in love.

"Entertain me, then." She lies down on the sofa.

"No, I really miss you."

"I can't do anything about it Azaan. I literally ran to the living room because of this stupid landline's noise and God, my legs... I swear I hate you. You-"

"-No, it's your mistake you chose to wear that. And Lindsay's right behind you, shut up."

She lifts her head to glance at the kitchen and waves a hello to Lindsay, then looks in the camera while speaking over the phone, "You shut up, I was trying it on, you entered the room without knocking."

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