Zehnaseeb ✓

n i n e t e e n

[Wohi khaana khaa rahi hoon, Alhamdulillah.
Enjoy!]

I sometimes think Azaan has a gorgeous, lovely mindset. Like, when the psychologists were asking me questions, after answering a few basic ones about my life and how I feel, I started hesitating a bit too much and went into silent mode.

Then I got anxious and I was reminded of what Azaan once said when I was confused whether I should have a cheat day or not and kept disturbing him from work even though he told me many times to just go order a pizza. He said; "When you don't know what to do, leave it on Allah. He always knows what the best is." And my dilemma ended. I gobbled up two whole Domino's with extra cheese and onions.

This time, as well, I close my eyes and go for what feels right.

Today is a happy day. I haven't spent this much time with Azaan since so long. I'm not going to ruin this day by crying.

"I want to go home." I say and get up from my seat. "Bye. See you next week." I walk out before she even tells me anything. I open the door and whisper, "I mean, maybe? I hope not, though."

And there's Azaan, sitting on a chair outside and just staring at the floor. I go and sit next to him. He lazily moves his eyes to my thigh and looks back at his point of focus on the floor.

"I'm a rockstar, naa rauk mainu,
I'm a popstar, naa tauk mainu,
I'm a superstar,
Mujhe roz hota hai pyaar!"

He doesn't look up but I see a smile creeping up on his face as I sing.

I lean back on the wall behind the chair and he looks at my shoulders. "I'll be right back." He says, patting on my thigh and walks to the office I just came out of.

He comes out of it in five seconds and holds his hand out for me. I just look at it and groan, staying there. "Wait a minute or two."

Then I think of what he must be thinking.

Fat-ass can't even move.

I quickly get up without holding his hand and walk to the elevator.

~~~

I'm heading towards my bedroom when Azaan pulls my arm to his room.

"We need to talk," he singsongs as he wraps his arms around my waist and carries me to the bed.

I push his arms away, "I don't want to."

He observes me with worry filled eyes and for a second, I wish I hadn't learnt the language of these hazel orbs.

I'd go to my room and slam the door.

But because I know he's worried, I kiss his cheek, give him a faint smile and try to go to my room. His hold on my hand doesn't loosen itself. I look at him and his eyes show rigidity.

He steps away, "Go, sit on the bed." The authoritative tone that I hate is used and I clench my jaw before moving.

He gets out of the room and my body falls back while my feet still touch the floor.

Don't fall asleep.

Don't sleep.

Don't.

~~~