f o r t y - s e v e n

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After having done the usual, i.e. having cried my heart out, I take a decision.

Probably a very impractical and silly one. But a decision of my own, taken on my own.

Time to be a selfish bitch.

I go to a diner on a solo date since my stupid boss didn't let me have lunch.

Then I go on shopping with his credit card.

He might get the notifications and I know he can check what I'm buying but he'll never know who I'm buying it for.

Once I'm done, I look at the time.

9PM? I go have a McDonald's Filet-O-Fish.

I drive to his mansion. Blasting Bollywood music all the way there and crying after Chale Aana goes off.

Once I reach, the guard recognizes me.

I smile at him and he gives me a very welcoming smile back.

He orders to open the gate for me. I park the car, pick my bags, and after I'm done admiring the mansion's exterior, I watch the interior.

It's 11AM and just like everybody, Abyan's asleep, but I'd love to see his reaction on me coming to his house.

I'd love to sit with him on his car bed and watch him show me his toys.

I smile and walk in.

Abyan said his chaachu has been living here since we came back from Pakistan, but he doesn't seem to be in his room yet.

His bad workaholic habits have not evanesced yet.

I put the bags down.

I despise the memories but at the same time fall in love with all of this. I watch the library I always hated.

Why was it supposed to be this way, Allah miyaan? Why couldn't it be easier?

These questions seem stupid now, but being a human, I can't bring them to a halt so easily.

I look at the book on his sidetable.

It's a business book. Nowhere my type.

Yet I pick it up. To read the notes he has taken.

His handwriting is so cute.

A bit childish, hehe.

But it's small and adorable.


He writes notes.

I run to the library.

Pride and Prejudice.

I don't know if he has any other novels, but this one. God, I've always dreaded reading books. This is the first time I'm picking one up all excited to read.

Apart of those times when Azaan read them to me.

The book is impossible to understand but the little notes after every few pages are tremendously endearing.

I'm about to fall asleep reading them when I think of the shopping bags.

I close the window and run to take a calming shower and change.

I light up the candles before randomly throwing the rose petals everywhere.

I stand below them and enjoy my Bollywood moment while throwing them in the air. They kiss my cheeks and my hair before falling down.

I watch myself in the mirror.

I look cute.

You know, in my head I always picture myself worse than what I really look like, so I've kind of started to find myself beautiful. Whenever I look in the mirror I see a prettier person than I imagined in my head.

Zehnaseeb ✓Where stories live. Discover now