t h i r t y - o n e

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"If I knew rollercoasters made you so happy, I would have brought you here everyday."

"And Azaan I love but like, love love love skyscrapers, you need to try that, it's such an unexplainable feeling, you, you need to feel that rush of adrenaline, it's fantastic. It's like the best thing on earth. I want to do bungee jumping too. It's argh!"

I start boring him with all the anecdotes and he keeps on looking at me as if it were very interesting while we walk towards a waffles stall.

"The feeling in the stomach, I love it so much. I don't know if the soul and the body get separated or something, but I feel like I have two skins, it's so liberating, I wish you'd leave the fear aside and enjoy it, but I also loved watching that scared for your life face of yours. It was the funniest thing ever," I laugh at the memory, "I should have recorded that,"

He starts defending himself and when he has nothing to say he tickles me to let the impression that I'm laughing because of the tickles and not at him.

It reminds me of how beautiful life was when we went on our first date, how simple my mindset was. Now it's all jumbled up in my head, and most of it is negative.


We reach home and he's still looking at me with such a soft innocent look, I can swear right now that he loves me the most.

"Agh, I didn't realise it's so cold outside." I say after sitting on the couch, rubbing my hands together and feeling the warmth the heater's giving off.

He sends Lindsay home after talking to her about dinner and locks the door. I get up to go to the room, but Azaan, being the Shahrukh Khan of my life, pulls my arm to himself and starts charming me with his love-filled eyes.


I lie on the study couch with my hair on the floor and my legs hanging from above the back of the couch. I don't know how I got in that position but reading novels is very frustrating.

Who the fuck likes The Fault In Our Stars?

It takes me two hours and a half to read thirty pages, but once there, I skip towards the end and discover that Augustus dies.


I get the book out of my sight and see Azaan's eyes on me. He looks different upside down. I turn over my stomach and he chuckles shaking his head, "You just skipped to the end, didn't you?"

"Yea, I'm never taking any book advice from Samia. Start from this one, you'll fall in love with novels. Bullshit."

I wear my shoes and walk towards the door but he stretches his hand to me, "Come here."

I walk to him, slowly gaining back the self-consciousness.

"Bored?" He asks holding my hand.

I put my knee on his chair and nod, "Very much."

"Do you wanna do something fun?"

The doorbell rings.

"Uh, yea- I. I don't mind you working though."

Damn, very good Sawera. You got that sentence almost right.

I feel a pinch of euphoria with that self-praise. I feel like I did a big thing very well. It feels good to talk good with myself.

Zehnaseeb ✓Where stories live. Discover now